Here's something for all you Americans out there to keep in mind when you're disappointed that you didn't prevail in democratically imposing your political views on everyone else: someday we'll all be dead and it won't matter. Seriously, do you think Jesus gives a flying flip who you voted for? I don't. And if that doesn't comfort you, look at the president Brazil just elected. He makes Trump look like Gandhi. Look, if you have any faith in any form of politics or government eventually solving more problems than it creates and making the world a place of peace, prosperity, liberty and justice for all, then all I can say is you're going to be very, very disappointed. At least until Jesus returns and institutes a theocracy. The good kind of theocracy, not the kind where human rights are abused. Until then we're all screwed and may as well accept that.
My feedback that nobody asked for: I'm grateful that the Democrat Party took the House of Representatives, and I'm crossing my fingers that they'll create enough gridlock to prevent either party from getting anything done. Of course, given the Republican Party's incredible track record of failing to repeal Obamacare for the last two years, that might not even be necessary. I do still slightly favor the Republican Party, in the same way that I slightly favor being shot over being stabbed, but there's no way in hell I want them to have a monopoly on every branch of government. I have this crazy idea... what if we had more than two options to choose from? It sounds crazy, I know, and it would require Americans to have more than two opinions, but just think about it for a moment. I think it would be glorious. Alternatively, we could use the additional options we already have and stop pretending it's against the laws of the universe for them to win.
I am saddened but not surprised that Andrew Cuomo won another term as New York's governor. I've never met anybody who likes him, and I'm not sure what kind of charisma he has to compensate for his personal and political shortcomings when in every photograph he looks like an exceptionally unpleasant bureaucrat of the Galactic Empire, but he must have gotten a good turnout from the sex offenders he pardoned so they could vote for him. It really is a shame that you can't pick your home state on aesthetics alone. You can't say, "I think I'll live in upstate New York because there are few neighbors and lots of pretty trees" without also taking into account the highest taxes in the nation. And the mosquitoes. And the humidity. And the drugs. And the sex offenders. In fairness most of those things have nothing to do with Cuomo. I have no intention of going back, anyway, since there are next to zero job prospects and fewer every year.
This also happened:
I mean, honestly, how delusional to you have to be to keep telling yourself that the United States doesn't have a problem here? Flags at half mast used to mean something. Now when I see one I just wonder where the shooting was today. It's basically the default position. I don't pretend to know all the solutions, but OUR CURRENT APPROACH OF IGNORING THE PROBLEM ISN'T -------- WORKING.
In other news, a recently released study has corroborated what studies have been saying for decades: that hitting children, colloquially known as "spanking", more often than not messes them up for life. I can vouch for the study's accuracy from my own anecdotal experience. It's interesting/annoying how this is one of those areas where people flaunt their ignorance as a badge of pride. "I don't care what the studies say, my dad beat me half to death and I turned out fine!" No, you didn't. Anyway, I'm not sure why we require studies to figure out that it has a detrimental impact for adults to hit people several times smaller than them, as I would have considered that to fall under the category of "No duh", but whatever. It hasn't really been that long since we stopped feeding children cocaine.
Almost every day, on the way to campus, I walk through one of the graffiti tunnels. People draw all over the walls and floor in chalk and then once in a great while somebody washes everything off and they start all over. The University and all other normal people see this as a bit of harmless amusement. The City of Logan sees it as A CRIME, and prohibits GRAFFITI OF ANY KIND, INCLUDING CHALK, in the tunnels it owns, and VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED. Yes, I realize it's just taking precautions against the slight risk that the weight of the chalk dust could cause a concrete tunnel to collapse, but at what cost? They're missing out on profound religious insights like this:
Somebody also wrote on the wall recently, "Questions? Ask the Missionaries!" I have my doubts as to whether anyone will ask the missionaries because of this blurb, but it's a nice thought. Next to it, someone else (or an alternate personality of the first person) wrote "Cult". That was it, no context, no punctuation. Technically "Questions?" isn't a sentence either, but it does have more of a feeling of completion to it, you know? Still, somewhere some self-identified "free thinker" is undoubtedly still patting himself on the back for coming up with the word "cult" all on his own, and spelling it correctly, no less. Now I'd like to say that I'm all for the frank exchange of ideas, and would have been intrigued to read a counterargument against asking the missionaries. But stupidity offends me. I had a tissue in my pocket, and I had saliva in my mouth, and I deleted this spam with little trouble and still made it on time to where I was going. Christians 1, Atheists 0. I jest, but really, try paint next time.
Next post: A review of "The Mysterious Case of the Canine After Dark"
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About the Author
C. Randall Nicholson is a white cisgender male and a Latter-day Saint, so you can hate him without guilt, but he's also autistic, so you can't. Unless you're an anti-vaxxer, in which case the feeling is mutual. This blog is where he periodically rants about life, the universe, and/or everything.