XV
THE FAMILY
1.
The Latter-day Saints church emphatically agrees with other progressive religions that the family is a fundamental unit of society.
However, it goes much further than most churches in demanding integrity of the family and in outlining specific obligations and privileges of each member.
This tendency to hold families together has been greatly intensified recently by a church-wide drive to bring within the fold all those non-Mormons who have married Mormons. Intermarriage into other faiths spurted upward during World War II, due to the great numbers of non-Mormons who were sent into the Mormon stronghold in the government service, and the members of the church who were scattered throughout the world.
Beginning under the roof of each husband and wife, the family spreads upward and outward. The whole church, itself can be taken as a huge family or tribal integration. The gregarious instinct of Mormons, fostered by living and working together, draws members of a community together in a family feeling that does not seem to exist in most cultures.
It is expected that every Mormon of mature years will marry. In this respect, the Mormon is not exactly a fee agent, as he is, for instance, in the Baptist church. Pressure of community and church opinion becomes so heavy that it is almost impossible to escape it. Such emphasis is placed at all times upon the necessity for a sound family organization that most Mormons grow up with a natural feeling that they ought to marry and establish their own families at the earliest opportunity. It seems the logical, correct thing to do, aside from the fact that the church promises rewards in the hereafter to those who do their duty in this respect here.
When a convert, or one who has been apart from the main body of the church, moves into a Mormon community, the first question asked him is, "Are you married?" This is asked out of two objectives. The first is, to welcome his spouse into the group, and to fit her into her proper organization. The second is for the welfare of the newcomer. If he is not married, he finds himself very quickly, quietly, but effectively, elbowed into church units where there are numbers of eligible females. From then on, it is expected that nature will take its course, the more quickly the better.
The unmarried woman is pitied, because she is cut off from the fundamental objective of all life on earth, as the Mormons see it, that of creating a posterity, the larger the better. An unmarried man is at first pitied because of his lonesomeness in his personal life, and later because he doesn't see things right. Then if he persists in his obtuseness, he is effectively condemned by public opinion because he shirks his duty to society, to his ancestors, and to God. In many societies, such a thing would be taken for granted as being a purely personal matter, but among the Mormons, it could very easily become a thing of official concern, expressed quietly and confidentially, of course. In the early days of the church, there are instances where the president of the church directly ordered a man to marry, on pain of incurring the prophet's displeasure if he failed to obey. Today, if it were generally felt that a man could maintain a family and were deliberately refraining from attempting it, it is conceivable that the brothers in his priesthood quorum could, and perhaps would, tactfully discuss the matter with him.
The question of whether a person ought, or ought not, to marry is not a debatable one among the Mormons. All teachings of the church point to an immediate affirmative answer. There is no other group in the world that is so effectively combatting the idea or practice of race suicide. Mormons teach, not only that one ought to marry, but that one MUST marry in order to secure the higher benefits of eternal life.
This strong feeling has its profound effect upon every facet of life in a community in which many Mormons live, although it comes so naturally to them that most of them fail to see how sharply it sets them apart from other peoples who have less highly developed social instincts. Especially is it noted in politics. When a candidate for public office makes his announcement, he almost invariably mentions his marital status, if he is proud of it. If he fails to do so, then his opponents immediately begin to seek the reason he didn't. There are few compliments greater for a man among Mormons than, "He is married and the father of ten children."
All Mormon families and people, like members of other churches, do not always live up to the letter of their beliefs and teachings in matters of family life. However the preponderance of public opinion is so heavy that the trend is always back toward the main body of teachings, so that a healthy, socially beneficial attitude is always present.
No clearer conception of the ideal of home and marriage among the Mormons has come to the attention of the writer than that conveyed in a short speech which Miss Hope Stewart of Salt Lake City delivered at a quarterly stake conference at Assembly hall in Temple square in the spring of 1946.
Her speech follows. The poem which she quotes is the hymn, "Love at Home," which is included in standard Mormon hymnals. The principle of eternal marriage, which Miss Stewart mentions, will be discussed in another chapter.
"I am happy to belong to a people whose concept of home and enduring family relationships lies at the very basis of human happiness here and hereafter. As Stephen L. Richards said, 'If the prophet Joseph Smith had never made any other contribution to the world than the incomparably beautiful and satisfying principles of eternal marriage as the foundation of a good home, he would have been entitled to a place on the very summit of man's esteem and acclaim.'
"An eminent man speaking in the British House of Parliament against imposition of a tax on the homes of the poor, said: 'My home may be a poor and rude one; the roof may leak; the wind may enter; the rain may enter, but the King of England with all his army cannot enter. My home is my castle, sacred and inviolate to me and my family.'
"A beautiful home is not just a house, however grand and imposing the house may be and however embellished it may be with costly furniture, rich drapes and floor coverings woven of the toil of far-off Persia. For such a home is not ordinarily located among the costly residences of the rich. This home is usually found among the modest and humble, but not among the poor of the land, for they are not truly poor who maintain a real home.
"In my ideal home is found a family of happy boys and girls with father and mother willingly, patiently and lovingly devoting lives of toil and service.
"There are certain characteristics, which stand out in an ideal home. Some of them are love, faith, hope, endurance, cooperation, understanding, and common ideals and purposes.
"If any one of these is lacking, the home cannot become a place of peace and rest where everything and everybody is in perfect harmony.
'There is beauty all around,
When there's love at home.
There is joy in every sound,
When there's love at home.
Peace and plenty here abide,
Smiling sweet on every side.
Time doth softly, sweetly, glide,
When there's love at home.
'In the cottage there is joy,
When there's love at home.
Hate and envy ne'er annoy,
When there's love at home.
Flowers blooming 'neath our feet,
All the earth's a garden sweet,
Making life a bliss complete
When there's love at home.
'Kindly heaven smiles above
When there's love at home.
All the world is filled with love
When there's love at home.
Sweetly sings the brooklet by,
Brighter beams the azure sky,
Oh, there's One who smiles on high,
When there's love at home.'
"My ideal home is surrounded by a yard filled with grass and flowers, trees, and welcome shade from the summer sun. Here always is a welcome spot in which children play. The boys assist in keeping up the place outside; the girls, cultured and refined, help mother with her work.
"Inside the home each morning we find this family kneeling in prayer to ask the guidance of the Lord in their daily activities. And at night when the day's tasks are finished we see them offering their prayer of thanksgiving. The Lord said, 'And they shall also teach their children to pray and walk uprightly before the Lord,' Doctrine and Covenants, 68:28.
"No food is ever served here without first being blessed, and mealtime finds each member of the family present at the table.
"There, parents teach by example, and Sunday morning they lead the family to church. Sunday afternoon, instead of finding the family busily employed with the spectators at the ball-park or at the movie, we find them at home singing around the piano or listening to mother or father explain some part of one of the church standard works.
"No ashtrays nor other smoker's equipment are seen about the home and father's fellow-workers known and respect the family's ideals. Father is not so busy looking after his own pleasures and interests that he does not have time to become acquainted with his own sons, for his family represents his keenest interests.
"And mother always seems to find time out to listen to the trivial troubles of little Bobby and patch things up, or to hear of the grand time Barbara had at the prom last night. Each member of the family shares an interest in the activities of the other members of the family. When Dick's carving is chosen one of the five best in the school, each member of the family shares the thrill, and each waits anxiously to see which will win the grand prize.
"Such a home as this costs more in work, self-sacrifice, patience, sleepless nights, heartaches and loving service, but the smile of a babe, the kiss of a beautiful daughter and the handclasp of a manly boy are worth more than all the cost.
"'Home, home, sweet sweet home, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.'"
However, it goes much further than most churches in demanding integrity of the family and in outlining specific obligations and privileges of each member.
This tendency to hold families together has been greatly intensified recently by a church-wide drive to bring within the fold all those non-Mormons who have married Mormons. Intermarriage into other faiths spurted upward during World War II, due to the great numbers of non-Mormons who were sent into the Mormon stronghold in the government service, and the members of the church who were scattered throughout the world.
Beginning under the roof of each husband and wife, the family spreads upward and outward. The whole church, itself can be taken as a huge family or tribal integration. The gregarious instinct of Mormons, fostered by living and working together, draws members of a community together in a family feeling that does not seem to exist in most cultures.
It is expected that every Mormon of mature years will marry. In this respect, the Mormon is not exactly a fee agent, as he is, for instance, in the Baptist church. Pressure of community and church opinion becomes so heavy that it is almost impossible to escape it. Such emphasis is placed at all times upon the necessity for a sound family organization that most Mormons grow up with a natural feeling that they ought to marry and establish their own families at the earliest opportunity. It seems the logical, correct thing to do, aside from the fact that the church promises rewards in the hereafter to those who do their duty in this respect here.
When a convert, or one who has been apart from the main body of the church, moves into a Mormon community, the first question asked him is, "Are you married?" This is asked out of two objectives. The first is, to welcome his spouse into the group, and to fit her into her proper organization. The second is for the welfare of the newcomer. If he is not married, he finds himself very quickly, quietly, but effectively, elbowed into church units where there are numbers of eligible females. From then on, it is expected that nature will take its course, the more quickly the better.
The unmarried woman is pitied, because she is cut off from the fundamental objective of all life on earth, as the Mormons see it, that of creating a posterity, the larger the better. An unmarried man is at first pitied because of his lonesomeness in his personal life, and later because he doesn't see things right. Then if he persists in his obtuseness, he is effectively condemned by public opinion because he shirks his duty to society, to his ancestors, and to God. In many societies, such a thing would be taken for granted as being a purely personal matter, but among the Mormons, it could very easily become a thing of official concern, expressed quietly and confidentially, of course. In the early days of the church, there are instances where the president of the church directly ordered a man to marry, on pain of incurring the prophet's displeasure if he failed to obey. Today, if it were generally felt that a man could maintain a family and were deliberately refraining from attempting it, it is conceivable that the brothers in his priesthood quorum could, and perhaps would, tactfully discuss the matter with him.
The question of whether a person ought, or ought not, to marry is not a debatable one among the Mormons. All teachings of the church point to an immediate affirmative answer. There is no other group in the world that is so effectively combatting the idea or practice of race suicide. Mormons teach, not only that one ought to marry, but that one MUST marry in order to secure the higher benefits of eternal life.
This strong feeling has its profound effect upon every facet of life in a community in which many Mormons live, although it comes so naturally to them that most of them fail to see how sharply it sets them apart from other peoples who have less highly developed social instincts. Especially is it noted in politics. When a candidate for public office makes his announcement, he almost invariably mentions his marital status, if he is proud of it. If he fails to do so, then his opponents immediately begin to seek the reason he didn't. There are few compliments greater for a man among Mormons than, "He is married and the father of ten children."
All Mormon families and people, like members of other churches, do not always live up to the letter of their beliefs and teachings in matters of family life. However the preponderance of public opinion is so heavy that the trend is always back toward the main body of teachings, so that a healthy, socially beneficial attitude is always present.
No clearer conception of the ideal of home and marriage among the Mormons has come to the attention of the writer than that conveyed in a short speech which Miss Hope Stewart of Salt Lake City delivered at a quarterly stake conference at Assembly hall in Temple square in the spring of 1946.
Her speech follows. The poem which she quotes is the hymn, "Love at Home," which is included in standard Mormon hymnals. The principle of eternal marriage, which Miss Stewart mentions, will be discussed in another chapter.
"I am happy to belong to a people whose concept of home and enduring family relationships lies at the very basis of human happiness here and hereafter. As Stephen L. Richards said, 'If the prophet Joseph Smith had never made any other contribution to the world than the incomparably beautiful and satisfying principles of eternal marriage as the foundation of a good home, he would have been entitled to a place on the very summit of man's esteem and acclaim.'
"An eminent man speaking in the British House of Parliament against imposition of a tax on the homes of the poor, said: 'My home may be a poor and rude one; the roof may leak; the wind may enter; the rain may enter, but the King of England with all his army cannot enter. My home is my castle, sacred and inviolate to me and my family.'
"A beautiful home is not just a house, however grand and imposing the house may be and however embellished it may be with costly furniture, rich drapes and floor coverings woven of the toil of far-off Persia. For such a home is not ordinarily located among the costly residences of the rich. This home is usually found among the modest and humble, but not among the poor of the land, for they are not truly poor who maintain a real home.
"In my ideal home is found a family of happy boys and girls with father and mother willingly, patiently and lovingly devoting lives of toil and service.
"There are certain characteristics, which stand out in an ideal home. Some of them are love, faith, hope, endurance, cooperation, understanding, and common ideals and purposes.
"If any one of these is lacking, the home cannot become a place of peace and rest where everything and everybody is in perfect harmony.
'There is beauty all around,
When there's love at home.
There is joy in every sound,
When there's love at home.
Peace and plenty here abide,
Smiling sweet on every side.
Time doth softly, sweetly, glide,
When there's love at home.
'In the cottage there is joy,
When there's love at home.
Hate and envy ne'er annoy,
When there's love at home.
Flowers blooming 'neath our feet,
All the earth's a garden sweet,
Making life a bliss complete
When there's love at home.
'Kindly heaven smiles above
When there's love at home.
All the world is filled with love
When there's love at home.
Sweetly sings the brooklet by,
Brighter beams the azure sky,
Oh, there's One who smiles on high,
When there's love at home.'
"My ideal home is surrounded by a yard filled with grass and flowers, trees, and welcome shade from the summer sun. Here always is a welcome spot in which children play. The boys assist in keeping up the place outside; the girls, cultured and refined, help mother with her work.
"Inside the home each morning we find this family kneeling in prayer to ask the guidance of the Lord in their daily activities. And at night when the day's tasks are finished we see them offering their prayer of thanksgiving. The Lord said, 'And they shall also teach their children to pray and walk uprightly before the Lord,' Doctrine and Covenants, 68:28.
"No food is ever served here without first being blessed, and mealtime finds each member of the family present at the table.
"There, parents teach by example, and Sunday morning they lead the family to church. Sunday afternoon, instead of finding the family busily employed with the spectators at the ball-park or at the movie, we find them at home singing around the piano or listening to mother or father explain some part of one of the church standard works.
"No ashtrays nor other smoker's equipment are seen about the home and father's fellow-workers known and respect the family's ideals. Father is not so busy looking after his own pleasures and interests that he does not have time to become acquainted with his own sons, for his family represents his keenest interests.
"And mother always seems to find time out to listen to the trivial troubles of little Bobby and patch things up, or to hear of the grand time Barbara had at the prom last night. Each member of the family shares an interest in the activities of the other members of the family. When Dick's carving is chosen one of the five best in the school, each member of the family shares the thrill, and each waits anxiously to see which will win the grand prize.
"Such a home as this costs more in work, self-sacrifice, patience, sleepless nights, heartaches and loving service, but the smile of a babe, the kiss of a beautiful daughter and the handclasp of a manly boy are worth more than all the cost.
"'Home, home, sweet sweet home, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.'"
2.
A very clear, definite, official church division of the rights and duties of men, women and children prescribe the manner in which the Mormon family is organized. Since the family is closely related to the ward, stake and other church organizations, this division of duties and rights takes on the weight and identity of a community-wide custom, and is almost unbreakable. Those who depart from it very quickly feel that they have placed a barrier between themselves and their people, and while inertia may prevent their doing anything to immediately correct their courses, their natural tendency is to blame themselves for falling short of the ideals expected of them.
The church holds that the family, a group of intelligent human beings, must be organized, or that chaos will result. Every member of the family circle has an equal claim upon the blessings and benefits of the home, but each is assigned a different task in connection with family life.
The father is head of the family. He is spokesman, or president, of the family group. His character or personality might not be the strongest, but his position as head of the family is upheld by the church. There is no higher authority, in the view of the Mormon church, in all matters relating to the family organization, than the father of that family, especially if he holds the higher priesthood. No one has the right to upset the father's authority. The Mormons teach that the patriarchal form of family government is of divine origin, and will retain its divine identity throughout eternity. This explains their jealous attitude toward any civil laws, customs, or court authority that might tend to come between the father and his authority over - and responsibility to - his children and other members of his family. This tends to exalt the position of fatherhood, and to make of a man what the church teaches that he is, the living image of God on earth.
Truly, it can be said that no other religion which we know holds for man a more revered place than this! In words of an official article in the Millennial Star: "Every family is a kingdom, a nation, a government, within itself, to a certain extent; and the head of the family is the legislator, the judge, the governor. This is what constitutes the Patriarchial [sic] office, and was originally the sole government for all the inhabitants of the earth."
The father's position in family and church is explained in the following excerpt from the Gospel Doctrine, a compilation of the sermons of Joseph F. Smith:
"It sometimes happens that the Elders are called in to administer to the members of a family. Among these Elders there may be Presidents of Stakes, Apostles, or even members of the First Presidency of the Church. It is not proper under these circumstances for the father to stand back and expect the Elders to direct the administration of this important ordinance. The father is there. It is his right and duty to preside. (If the father is absent, the mother should request the presiding authority present to take charge.) The father presides at the table, at prayer, and gives general directions relating to his family life whoever may be present. Wives and children should be taught to feel that the patriarchial [sic] order in the Kingdom of God has been established for a wise and beneficient purpose, and should sustain the head of the household and encourage him in the discharge of his duties, and do all in their power to aid him in the exercise of the rights and privileges which God has bestowed upon the head of the home. This patriarchal order has its divine spirit and purpose, and those who disregard it under one pretext or another are out of harmony with the spirit of God's laws as they are ordained for recognition in the home. It is not merely a question of who is perhaps the most qualified. Neither is it wholly a question of who is living the most worthy life. It is a question largely of law and order, and its importance is seen often from the fact that the authority remains and is respected long after a man is really unworthy to exercise it."
The church holds that the family, a group of intelligent human beings, must be organized, or that chaos will result. Every member of the family circle has an equal claim upon the blessings and benefits of the home, but each is assigned a different task in connection with family life.
The father is head of the family. He is spokesman, or president, of the family group. His character or personality might not be the strongest, but his position as head of the family is upheld by the church. There is no higher authority, in the view of the Mormon church, in all matters relating to the family organization, than the father of that family, especially if he holds the higher priesthood. No one has the right to upset the father's authority. The Mormons teach that the patriarchal form of family government is of divine origin, and will retain its divine identity throughout eternity. This explains their jealous attitude toward any civil laws, customs, or court authority that might tend to come between the father and his authority over - and responsibility to - his children and other members of his family. This tends to exalt the position of fatherhood, and to make of a man what the church teaches that he is, the living image of God on earth.
Truly, it can be said that no other religion which we know holds for man a more revered place than this! In words of an official article in the Millennial Star: "Every family is a kingdom, a nation, a government, within itself, to a certain extent; and the head of the family is the legislator, the judge, the governor. This is what constitutes the Patriarchial [sic] office, and was originally the sole government for all the inhabitants of the earth."
The father's position in family and church is explained in the following excerpt from the Gospel Doctrine, a compilation of the sermons of Joseph F. Smith:
"It sometimes happens that the Elders are called in to administer to the members of a family. Among these Elders there may be Presidents of Stakes, Apostles, or even members of the First Presidency of the Church. It is not proper under these circumstances for the father to stand back and expect the Elders to direct the administration of this important ordinance. The father is there. It is his right and duty to preside. (If the father is absent, the mother should request the presiding authority present to take charge.) The father presides at the table, at prayer, and gives general directions relating to his family life whoever may be present. Wives and children should be taught to feel that the patriarchial [sic] order in the Kingdom of God has been established for a wise and beneficient purpose, and should sustain the head of the household and encourage him in the discharge of his duties, and do all in their power to aid him in the exercise of the rights and privileges which God has bestowed upon the head of the home. This patriarchal order has its divine spirit and purpose, and those who disregard it under one pretext or another are out of harmony with the spirit of God's laws as they are ordained for recognition in the home. It is not merely a question of who is perhaps the most qualified. Neither is it wholly a question of who is living the most worthy life. It is a question largely of law and order, and its importance is seen often from the fact that the authority remains and is respected long after a man is really unworthy to exercise it."
3.
At no point have the Mormon people been more misunderstood than in their attitude toward women and the position of a Mormon woman in the home, community and church.
In their fear of the rapidly growing and apparently unconquerable new American religion, many religious and political leaders of the nation, from a century ago until today, have placed violent interpretations upon the views of Mormons toward women without investigating too closely the real facts of the Mormon social structure. Even as late as 1946, a columnist in the Chicago Tribune in an effort to say something nice about the Mormons, offered what to him seemed a logical explanation of why early day Mormon women preferred the polygamous type of family life that prevailed at the beginning of the L.D.S. church. It was ludicrous, to an impartial investigator, that the columnist thought it necessary to find excuses to uphold the earlier Mormon practice. Were it not that the columnist evidently was sincere, his misinformation and his lack of understanding of the moving faith in Mormonism would have seemed pitiable.
Nothing could be more paradoxical than the spectacle of Boston-led eastern religious reformers bitterly assailing early-day Mormons for placing women in "slavery" of polygamous marriage, at the very time that Utah women were the first of their sex in the entire nation to receive the voting franchise, and the right to express themselves in public affairs at the polls, many decades before their sisters in the remaining "enlightened" part of the United States were able to wrest such a boon from reluctant "Christian" male voters!
The answer to this, and many other apparent paradoxes lies in the division of family rights and duties of men and women, to which the Mormons adhere, and which is utterly foreign to family life in most of the rest of the world, and especially the United States.
The priesthood, or representation of God on earth by man, is for benefit of all members of the Mormon church. Men have no greater claim than women upon the blessings that issue from the priesthood and accompany its possession. Women do not hold the priesthood, but share in all its benefits. It is significant that the highest blessings available in the Latter-day Saint temples are only conferred upon a man and his wife jointly. The wife must be there with the man, beside him, sharing with him.
Mormons hold that God has bestowed upon woman a gift equal in importance to the priesthood. This gift is the right of motherhood, the noblest, most soul-satisfying of all earthly experiences. Strictly speaking, in their practice of literal interpretation of divine writings, Mormons probably place an even higher value upon motherhood than they do upon priesthood. To support this, it can be pointed out that Eve, first mother of the human race, acquired the ability to be a mother by eating the forbidden fruit in Eden, before Adam received the power of the priesthood. Logically, it might even be inferred that Adam's getting the priesthood was in the nature of a consolation prize because he couldn't, in God's plan of procreation of humanity, share with Eve the greater joy of motherhood. In all seriousness, Latter-day Saints teach that if a normal healthy woman exercises the gift of motherhood righteously, she has no time nor desire for anything greater; for there is no thing on earth that is greater. Mormons do not maintain that women should not exercise all the gifts and talents with which they might be endowed, for women are possessed of full free agency, the same as men. A woman may justly claim other activity, but motherhoood should take precedence in her entire scheme of life.
Their ineligibility to perform rites of the priesthood is in reality a boon to Mormon women, and not a discrimination. Mormons take their priesthood seriously, and for the men, it is not only an honor, but a task that to many non-Mormons would seem onerous, so much of a man's time, energies and abilities does it demand. The church has wisely freed women from the responsibilities of the priesthood, so that they may have freedom from the awesome and demanding responsibilities of its offices.
The principle that motherhood is the highest honor possible for any woman pervades the entire Mormon cultural structure. It places a great value upon the younger woman because of her potentialities in bearing children and training them to maturity, influencing and molding the souls and lives of the coming generation. It places great honor upon the elderly woman for the posterity that she has brought into the world. Among the Mormons, an old woman is not a useless appendage to a society, as she has become in most of the United States, but a revered matriarch who is loved and cherished by her descendants who have been taught that the gift of life on this earth which she has brought to them is the most cherished of all possible possessions. And nowhere, so much as among the Mormons, can be observed the miraculous character-building effect that the raising and bearing of a big family has upon a woman and her husband. So rare have big families become throughout our land that this Mormon attribute is a big factor in the country's virility.
A Mormon woman learns from infancy to seek and hold precious the opportunity for motherhood, for the chance to be the medium through which can be brought to this earth some of the countless souls who are waiting to be born, for the boon to guide and direct human lives, for the responsibility of shaping the destiny of the nation and of the world, literally, through the cradle.
Plural, or polygamous marriage, practiced in the Latter-day Saints church's early days, but abandoned October 6, 1890 under pressure from a nation goaded by religious reformers of the abolitionist and prohibitionist type, was the only successsful means ever evolved by society to allow all women who desired the surpassing gift of motherhood a legal opportunity to share its glories. The early-day Mormon woman, in order to secure a husband and the safety and security of a home, was under no compulsion to marry the first man who came along, nor to become the life teammate of a drunkard or a wastrel, merely to have a man. It was possible for her to mate with the best man of the community. If the average non-Mormon person could for a moment lay aside whatever dogmatic teachings he might have acquired on the subject, and view the early-day Mormon institution of plural marriage, he couldn't escape the remarkable fact that eugenically, it was certainly a great advancement over the desultory sort of monogamy generally known today.
Divorce was instituted among Mormons for the protection of women. If a wife found that she was shackled to a man who was a hopeless specimen of humanity, or who was sterile and deprived her of her right of motherhood, or who mistreated her, she could go into court, obtain her freedom, and seek a better-suited mate. It ought to be clearly pointed out that Mormons set up a frank and open approach to the problem of divorce while the rest of the United States was blindly adhering to the Middle-Ages belief that marital mistakes ought not to be corrected, regardless of their nature. The very easy and open access of the right of divorce among the early-day Mormons, however, coupled with the stable family life possible under a system of plural marriage, made divorces rather rare, and it was not until monogamy was enforced and non-Mormons began to move into Mormon country in large numbers that the divorce rate began to climb.
Few people not closely connected with the Mormons can realize the great weight that the feeling of motherhood carries, which makes the Mormon women think of all else as secondary to this main purpose of their life. A paragraph from the Discourses of Brigham Young will perhaps serve to explain it, "Indeed, a woman who would sacrifice the greatest of all earth professions, that of motherhood, which is hers by right of sex, for the silly reason of proving that she can do a man's work as well as any man, or for any other reason, is something less than a true woman, and is to be pitied as well as condemned."
If, through no fault of her own, a woman is denied the right of motherhood, the Mormon community offers many mediums through which she may vicariously exercise her propensity for procreation, by assisting others, caring for homeless children, or assisting through church and community activities in bringing to maturity the children of other more fortunate women, thus sharing in responsibility and honors with those who do bear children.
In their fear of the rapidly growing and apparently unconquerable new American religion, many religious and political leaders of the nation, from a century ago until today, have placed violent interpretations upon the views of Mormons toward women without investigating too closely the real facts of the Mormon social structure. Even as late as 1946, a columnist in the Chicago Tribune in an effort to say something nice about the Mormons, offered what to him seemed a logical explanation of why early day Mormon women preferred the polygamous type of family life that prevailed at the beginning of the L.D.S. church. It was ludicrous, to an impartial investigator, that the columnist thought it necessary to find excuses to uphold the earlier Mormon practice. Were it not that the columnist evidently was sincere, his misinformation and his lack of understanding of the moving faith in Mormonism would have seemed pitiable.
Nothing could be more paradoxical than the spectacle of Boston-led eastern religious reformers bitterly assailing early-day Mormons for placing women in "slavery" of polygamous marriage, at the very time that Utah women were the first of their sex in the entire nation to receive the voting franchise, and the right to express themselves in public affairs at the polls, many decades before their sisters in the remaining "enlightened" part of the United States were able to wrest such a boon from reluctant "Christian" male voters!
The answer to this, and many other apparent paradoxes lies in the division of family rights and duties of men and women, to which the Mormons adhere, and which is utterly foreign to family life in most of the rest of the world, and especially the United States.
The priesthood, or representation of God on earth by man, is for benefit of all members of the Mormon church. Men have no greater claim than women upon the blessings that issue from the priesthood and accompany its possession. Women do not hold the priesthood, but share in all its benefits. It is significant that the highest blessings available in the Latter-day Saint temples are only conferred upon a man and his wife jointly. The wife must be there with the man, beside him, sharing with him.
Mormons hold that God has bestowed upon woman a gift equal in importance to the priesthood. This gift is the right of motherhood, the noblest, most soul-satisfying of all earthly experiences. Strictly speaking, in their practice of literal interpretation of divine writings, Mormons probably place an even higher value upon motherhood than they do upon priesthood. To support this, it can be pointed out that Eve, first mother of the human race, acquired the ability to be a mother by eating the forbidden fruit in Eden, before Adam received the power of the priesthood. Logically, it might even be inferred that Adam's getting the priesthood was in the nature of a consolation prize because he couldn't, in God's plan of procreation of humanity, share with Eve the greater joy of motherhood. In all seriousness, Latter-day Saints teach that if a normal healthy woman exercises the gift of motherhood righteously, she has no time nor desire for anything greater; for there is no thing on earth that is greater. Mormons do not maintain that women should not exercise all the gifts and talents with which they might be endowed, for women are possessed of full free agency, the same as men. A woman may justly claim other activity, but motherhoood should take precedence in her entire scheme of life.
Their ineligibility to perform rites of the priesthood is in reality a boon to Mormon women, and not a discrimination. Mormons take their priesthood seriously, and for the men, it is not only an honor, but a task that to many non-Mormons would seem onerous, so much of a man's time, energies and abilities does it demand. The church has wisely freed women from the responsibilities of the priesthood, so that they may have freedom from the awesome and demanding responsibilities of its offices.
The principle that motherhood is the highest honor possible for any woman pervades the entire Mormon cultural structure. It places a great value upon the younger woman because of her potentialities in bearing children and training them to maturity, influencing and molding the souls and lives of the coming generation. It places great honor upon the elderly woman for the posterity that she has brought into the world. Among the Mormons, an old woman is not a useless appendage to a society, as she has become in most of the United States, but a revered matriarch who is loved and cherished by her descendants who have been taught that the gift of life on this earth which she has brought to them is the most cherished of all possible possessions. And nowhere, so much as among the Mormons, can be observed the miraculous character-building effect that the raising and bearing of a big family has upon a woman and her husband. So rare have big families become throughout our land that this Mormon attribute is a big factor in the country's virility.
A Mormon woman learns from infancy to seek and hold precious the opportunity for motherhood, for the chance to be the medium through which can be brought to this earth some of the countless souls who are waiting to be born, for the boon to guide and direct human lives, for the responsibility of shaping the destiny of the nation and of the world, literally, through the cradle.
Plural, or polygamous marriage, practiced in the Latter-day Saints church's early days, but abandoned October 6, 1890 under pressure from a nation goaded by religious reformers of the abolitionist and prohibitionist type, was the only successsful means ever evolved by society to allow all women who desired the surpassing gift of motherhood a legal opportunity to share its glories. The early-day Mormon woman, in order to secure a husband and the safety and security of a home, was under no compulsion to marry the first man who came along, nor to become the life teammate of a drunkard or a wastrel, merely to have a man. It was possible for her to mate with the best man of the community. If the average non-Mormon person could for a moment lay aside whatever dogmatic teachings he might have acquired on the subject, and view the early-day Mormon institution of plural marriage, he couldn't escape the remarkable fact that eugenically, it was certainly a great advancement over the desultory sort of monogamy generally known today.
Divorce was instituted among Mormons for the protection of women. If a wife found that she was shackled to a man who was a hopeless specimen of humanity, or who was sterile and deprived her of her right of motherhood, or who mistreated her, she could go into court, obtain her freedom, and seek a better-suited mate. It ought to be clearly pointed out that Mormons set up a frank and open approach to the problem of divorce while the rest of the United States was blindly adhering to the Middle-Ages belief that marital mistakes ought not to be corrected, regardless of their nature. The very easy and open access of the right of divorce among the early-day Mormons, however, coupled with the stable family life possible under a system of plural marriage, made divorces rather rare, and it was not until monogamy was enforced and non-Mormons began to move into Mormon country in large numbers that the divorce rate began to climb.
Few people not closely connected with the Mormons can realize the great weight that the feeling of motherhood carries, which makes the Mormon women think of all else as secondary to this main purpose of their life. A paragraph from the Discourses of Brigham Young will perhaps serve to explain it, "Indeed, a woman who would sacrifice the greatest of all earth professions, that of motherhood, which is hers by right of sex, for the silly reason of proving that she can do a man's work as well as any man, or for any other reason, is something less than a true woman, and is to be pitied as well as condemned."
If, through no fault of her own, a woman is denied the right of motherhood, the Mormon community offers many mediums through which she may vicariously exercise her propensity for procreation, by assisting others, caring for homeless children, or assisting through church and community activities in bringing to maturity the children of other more fortunate women, thus sharing in responsibility and honors with those who do bear children.
4.
One of the most interesting characteristics of a devout Mormon family is the "Home Evening," when members are all gathered together, perhaps once a week or at other regular intervals, for a definitely arranged program of entertainment and social activity. This is strongly encouraged by the church. It is a binding influence that tends to bring the family closer together in this day of dinners, dances, movies and other entertainment away from home that would otherwise mitigate toward separation of the family group.
Church activities are so organized that each member of the family almost automatically falls into a community group of congenial spirits. Boys, at an early age, are guided into the lower orders of the priesthood, and begin to take seriously their obligations to family, church and nation. Girls, too, find comradeliness in organizations of their kind. As young people reach maturity, they move on upward into the young people's organizations that help them adjust to life during the trying years when young people of many other faiths, or of the great body of churchless people, wander and flounder emotionally and philosophically. The family spirit will be discussed further in other chapters.
Next: Sunday School
Church activities are so organized that each member of the family almost automatically falls into a community group of congenial spirits. Boys, at an early age, are guided into the lower orders of the priesthood, and begin to take seriously their obligations to family, church and nation. Girls, too, find comradeliness in organizations of their kind. As young people reach maturity, they move on upward into the young people's organizations that help them adjust to life during the trying years when young people of many other faiths, or of the great body of churchless people, wander and flounder emotionally and philosophically. The family spirit will be discussed further in other chapters.
Next: Sunday School
