In late 2010, at the height of my impassioned conservatism and religious fundamentalism, I became vaguely aware that liberals in our area and elsewhere were saying that "Jesus is a liberal". Without bothering to look into their rationale for that belief, I wrote this sacrilegious little rebuttal, mostly on Christmas Eve, it appears. It was probably uncalled for, but in my defense I would like to say that even then I considered it abhorrent for anyone to claim Jesus as an endorsement of their political views, so although I did believe that Jesus was a conservative I made no attempt to counter-argue that point. Now, of course, I recognize that liberalism and conservatism both have elements that are pleasing to Jesus and elements that are repugnant to Him. Overall, though, earthly politics are little more relevant to His wisdom than the hierarchy of anthills are to us.

Jesus is a Liberal
​By C. Randall Nicholson

Now it came to pass that early on the morrow Jesus did take his disciples with him into a mountain, and forbad the multitude to follow.

And his disciples did gather round about him, eagerly pressing forward that they might catch all of his words.

And Jesus said unto them, Behold, we are alone, and I would seek to clarify some of my teachings which have troubled you, for I sense there is confusion among you concerning some of the words I have spoken.

Now I command you, ask and ye shall receive. None shall taunt ye for your lack of knowledge.

Then one of his disciples spake, saying, Master, thou hast said love thy neighbor as thyself, and thou hast demonstrated with thy delightful parable of the good Samaritan that our neighbors are to be all who cross our paths;

Nonetheless we yet desire to know how we shall make manifest this love; for we do not daily come across men who have been beaten nigh unto death.

And Jesus said unto him, Give of thine substance unto all men, whatsoever circumstances they may be in or whatsoever power they may have unto themselves to improve upon them, lest ye come under condemnation.

For why should thy neighbor stand in true need before he receiveth of thine substance, even all that thou hast? Behold, this mattereth not unto me.

Then his disciples said unto him, Master, thou hast commanded us to give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's; but behold, we know not what is Caesar's.

Then Jesus answered saying, Verily I say unto you, whatsoever Caesar desireth, the same is his.

For behold, he loveth you more than any man, and seeketh at all times to do those things which would be of most benefit to all of you; wherefore whatsoever he shall require at your hands, the same shall be given him.

And the same shalt thine descendants do unto whatsoever man or group thereof holdeth power over whatsoever nation in which they reside;

For behold, all such men shall hold the same love in their hearts for them; else why would they seek power?

And it shall come to pass many generations hence that the power shall be vested in men wherewith they may choose together who among them shall hold such power.

Verily I say unto you, at this day I would exhort ye to choose wisely those whose skin is marked differently than thine own, or those who be women, lest they God esteem thee to be unjustly prejudiced;

Taking no thought as to their qualifications, for behold, surely their status as minorities, as well as their love for you, shall qualify them for all things whatsoever shall be set before them.

And now at this time I give unto you a new commandment; that thou shalt possess no sword, nor dagger, nor sling, nor any manner of weapon.

For behold, it is written thou shalt not kill, wherefore what need have ye of weapons?

A promise I give unto you likewise, that thine enemies shall honor this commandment also, and that from this time forth they shall not seek to rob thee, nor slay thee, nor know thy wife or thy daughters;

And if they should seek to do any of these things, behold, the soldiers of Caesar shall come upon them, and shall cast them into prison, that they shall have no power over you;

For Caesar loveth you as I have said, wherefore he shall protect you in all things, and his men shall be swiftly at your side day or night, in whatsoever circumstance ye may require protection.

Then one of his disciples said unto him, Master, there is a certain woman in Jerusalem who is with child;

And behold, she was desirous that the child should be cast out betimes from her womb, and slain, that she might not suffer pain as it was brought forth.

And we reproved her, saying, the Lord delighteth in little children, and surely such is an abomination before him; but what sayest thou?

And Jesus answered saying, Verily, I give unto you a parable concerning a certain fig tree;

But his disciples interrupted and said, We beg thy pardon, Master, but thou hast already given unto us the parable of the fig tree.

And Jesus answered saying, Behold, this parable is not like unto that which I have already given unto you, for it concerneth another fig tree.

For behold, there was another fig tree by the wayside, and the time was accomplished that it should bear fruit;

But the fig tree was not desirous that it should bear fruit, and that the fruit should take unto itself of the strength and nourishment of the tree;

Wherefore it did cast forth the fruit into the fire before it could be ripened unto its fulness.

Now verily I say unto you, likewise shall any woman do who so desireth with her unborn child; for behold, though the Lord loveth children dearly, even so it is not meet that any woman should suffer the slightest inconvenience.

Nevertheless it grieveth me that any child should be thus cast out; but who can say unto his neighbor, do this, and it shall be done? Behold, every woman must needs make her own choice regarding this thing, lest by and by your freedoms are stripped away.

And now I make an end of speaking these things unto you, and I would that ye give heed unto one final commandment;
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That ye shall not speak of these things, or of mine other teachings, or of myself, or of my Father which is in Heaven, in the presence of any who believe not on our names;

Lest they should take offense, and be sorely grieved against you.
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Now behold, ye have witnessed my greatest miracle to this day, inasmuch as I have accomplished the keeping of a straight face as I spake these things unto you. Now forget them, for they are nonsense.


​Main Page: Short Stories by C. Randall Nicholson