Main Page: Adventures in the FDR
Cast of Characters
Professor Ronald Reynolds: Dr. Reynolds has spent most of his life either in an ivory tower or his laboratory and, as such, had little problem believing his textbooks when they said that bigger government was the solution to all the world's problems. One day, however, he accidentally stumbled upon real-life data that proved the exact opposite. Hurt, disillusioned and struggling with cognitive dissonance, the professor of philanthropy resolved to perform a daring social experiment that would prove once and for all which political philosophy was the most effective. When he tried to secure funding, however, he learned that tax increases were going to empty all of his benefactors' pockets, and that he could only afford to perform half of the experiment. Furious, he exacted his revenge by becoming a fan of Michael Medved, Glenn Beck, and Michelle Malkin.
Connie Chunk: Though she was born in Portland, Oregon, her parents were immigrants from South Korea, and thus she was destined to be labeled along with them as a Korean-American™. As she grew up they told her horror stories about the Communist regime in neighboring North Korea, and the atrocities committed against its own citizens, but as she entered the world of journalism she forgot their voice of warning and unwittingly became a radical left-winger anyway. Her youthful ideals of hard-hitting interviews and shocking exposés, bringing the truth to the masses with no regard for partisanship, crumbled when she was given her first assignment to not report on the March for Life in Washington, D.C. Several years of this sort of thing threatened to make her cynical, but she compensated by increasing her natural spunk and refusing to watch her own broadcasts.
Mr. President: Prior to becoming the Prime Minister of the FDR, Mr. President's name was Mr. President. He changed it from Colin Pollywall as soon as he was old enough, having aspired to the Presidency of the United States of America since the age of six. He campaigned several times in fact, running against all the presidents from Ronald Reagan to Barack Obama, on an independent ticket. His philosophy was "be a good leader and give money to poor people". Unfortunately, he never could collect the wealth necessary for a successful campaign, and by the 2012 election no one beyond his home county had heard of him. At that point he reluctantly attempted to secure the Democratic party nomination but they weren't in the mood for any more white males. When he was approached by Dr. Reynolds to take part in his experiment, Mr. President jumped at the chance to become the leader of a whole new nation. He knew that under his leadership it would quickly grow to surpass the ailing USA.
Vice Prime Minister William: William always aspired to have a job with a fancy title that didn't require any actual work, and his natural charisma would have allowed him to get one, but he also didn't want to be in a spotlight or take any blame when things went wrong. The solution was to always be a follower, to bask in the prestige and likeability that accompanied someone more important but still retain the ability to distance himself from that person if necessary. Before coming to the FDR he honed this technique by voting for charismatic politicians who promised great things and then criticizing them along with everyone else when they failed to deliver. William was excited to join Dr. Reynolds' team, realizing that the island's lack of established political, economic, or celebrity leadership would provide him a perfect opportunity if he was just savvy enough to spot it. Furthermore, if he played his cards wrong and humiliated himself, he could return to the mainland and no one aside from the island's few inhabitants would ever know about it.
Secretary Candace: Although urged by her parents to be a porn actress, Candace always had her heart set on being a secretary of some sort. In spite of the low pay and thankless menial tasks, she knows it's the secretaries who really hold the power and make things tick in any organization, and it's always been her aspiration to make a difference in the world whether she was recognized for it or not. She worked as a secretary for several local businesses but each of them went bankrupt in the economic recession of 2008 and none were considered too big to fail. Candace went on unemployment just long enough to save money for an airplane ticket to capitalist Estonia, where the government leaves the economy alone and it doesn't have problems like that, but before she could leave she heard about Dr. Reynolds' project. However, she didn't realize that the people going to the first island were the same people who had screwed up the United States in the first place. And she certainly didn't anticipate working for the likes of Mr. President.
Citizen Bob: The everyman, the normal guy. Citizen Bob earned his nickname by being a citizen of the United States and later, the FDR. Like most of his neighbors he knows nothing about politics but has a good heart and believes in helping those in need, so he registered as a Democrat. The workings of society in the US and the world at large are constantly confusing and baffling to him, but he assumes that everyone else must know what they're doing and so he cheerfully accepts whatever madness is thrown at him. He is a gifted artist but has been shunned from the art community for not insisting that taxpayers fund his work. The chance to start fresh in a new society was an endlessly thrilling and exciting prospect, and Citizen Bob secretly hoped furthermore that this one would be easier to understand. His normal quiet life is about to become not so normal or quiet. It now lies in the hands of Mr. President and Vice Prime Minister William, and their whims will dictate his day-to-day existence. Of course, he hardly would have been in better hands back home.
Steve the Militant Atheist: While his atheist friends accepted that 95% of Americans believe in a deity of some sort, Steve couldn't tolerate such delusions having any influence on their culture or society. He attempted to convert believers by leaving rude comments on their news articles and YouTube videos. He dreams of a utopian society where all citizens work together for the common good and create an advanced civilization that colonizes the universe, but so far his only efforts toward that end have been to vote for the political candidates with the weakest religious convictions. As luck would have it, his voting record qualified him to participate in the first and only phase of Dr. Reynolds' experiment. His Internet comments had been less effective than he had hoped, so he was excited for the chance to start a new adventure and create a society untarnished by the effects of religion.
Pastor John: Since the age of fourteen, Pastor John has felt it his mission in life to rescue all of the poor souls who will otherwise be damned for eternity for not accepting Jesus Christ. The years between then and his graduation from college with a degree in theology were the longest in his life, as he dearly wanted to minister but could not until he got his diploma. As soon as he graduated he started his own church and a huge ad campaign to go with it. Attendance was mediocre, but impressive enough considering the rise of secularism. He wanted to start an anti-Mormon ministry on the side but his conscience wouldn't let him spread lies even for Jesus, a failing that haunts him to this day. Pastor John cares little for anyone's material comforts, as it is their souls that really matter, but he sees humanitarian aid as a means to open hearts for conversion, and so supported government welfare programs with the congregation collections. He saw it as his duty to be present at the creation of the FDR, to ensure that its constitution was built upon Christianity, but found himself tragically outnumbered in that regard.
Postman Pete: Postman Pete is the postman. That's all you need to know about him. Actually, you probably could have figured it out yourself.
Miss Anne Throap: Molding impressionable young children to see the world the right way - her way - was one of Anne's biggest dreams from the time she was an impressionable young child herself. She got the necessary degree and did the necessary student teaching, only to find that the United States' suffering public education system held few openings for someone with her vision. Furthermore, she was disturbed by the excessive harshness of the grading system, specifically that there was one. Her contact in the teachers' union had failed to find her a job and was forbidden by his contract from firing a child molester to create an opening for her, but he did know Dr. Reynolds personally and arranged for her to travel to the FDR. Here was an opportunity not only to educate children, but to construct an entire culture and values system for a fledgling country that currently had none. What she didn't realize was that some of the adults around there were in dire need of an education themselves.
Charlie the Undocumented Worker:
Tookie the Criminal: Tookie lived the American dream, starting out as a janitor at ALCOA and moving up to become one the company's top executives nationwide. It didn't take him long to figure out, though, that when taxes figured into the equation, his increased paycheck wasn't worth the effort. Social Security was just insult to injury. Determined to get the wages he deserved one way or another, he robbed the company treasury and skipped town. Because he was now on the run and couldn't access his bank account, stealing became a way of life. He tried to pick liberal targets who didn't have guns but accidentally picked on an NRA member one night and was forced to kill the man in an impromptu duel. His last shred of morality gone, Tookie continued stealing, killed many more people and contemplated rape. No criminal can hide forever, though, not even bin Ladin, and he knew that very soon the jig would be up. He had to leave the country. A few mob connections smuggled him into the FDR on a supply ship and he prepared for a good life of badness.
Next: Prologue
Connie Chunk: Though she was born in Portland, Oregon, her parents were immigrants from South Korea, and thus she was destined to be labeled along with them as a Korean-American™. As she grew up they told her horror stories about the Communist regime in neighboring North Korea, and the atrocities committed against its own citizens, but as she entered the world of journalism she forgot their voice of warning and unwittingly became a radical left-winger anyway. Her youthful ideals of hard-hitting interviews and shocking exposés, bringing the truth to the masses with no regard for partisanship, crumbled when she was given her first assignment to not report on the March for Life in Washington, D.C. Several years of this sort of thing threatened to make her cynical, but she compensated by increasing her natural spunk and refusing to watch her own broadcasts.
Mr. President: Prior to becoming the Prime Minister of the FDR, Mr. President's name was Mr. President. He changed it from Colin Pollywall as soon as he was old enough, having aspired to the Presidency of the United States of America since the age of six. He campaigned several times in fact, running against all the presidents from Ronald Reagan to Barack Obama, on an independent ticket. His philosophy was "be a good leader and give money to poor people". Unfortunately, he never could collect the wealth necessary for a successful campaign, and by the 2012 election no one beyond his home county had heard of him. At that point he reluctantly attempted to secure the Democratic party nomination but they weren't in the mood for any more white males. When he was approached by Dr. Reynolds to take part in his experiment, Mr. President jumped at the chance to become the leader of a whole new nation. He knew that under his leadership it would quickly grow to surpass the ailing USA.
Vice Prime Minister William: William always aspired to have a job with a fancy title that didn't require any actual work, and his natural charisma would have allowed him to get one, but he also didn't want to be in a spotlight or take any blame when things went wrong. The solution was to always be a follower, to bask in the prestige and likeability that accompanied someone more important but still retain the ability to distance himself from that person if necessary. Before coming to the FDR he honed this technique by voting for charismatic politicians who promised great things and then criticizing them along with everyone else when they failed to deliver. William was excited to join Dr. Reynolds' team, realizing that the island's lack of established political, economic, or celebrity leadership would provide him a perfect opportunity if he was just savvy enough to spot it. Furthermore, if he played his cards wrong and humiliated himself, he could return to the mainland and no one aside from the island's few inhabitants would ever know about it.
Secretary Candace: Although urged by her parents to be a porn actress, Candace always had her heart set on being a secretary of some sort. In spite of the low pay and thankless menial tasks, she knows it's the secretaries who really hold the power and make things tick in any organization, and it's always been her aspiration to make a difference in the world whether she was recognized for it or not. She worked as a secretary for several local businesses but each of them went bankrupt in the economic recession of 2008 and none were considered too big to fail. Candace went on unemployment just long enough to save money for an airplane ticket to capitalist Estonia, where the government leaves the economy alone and it doesn't have problems like that, but before she could leave she heard about Dr. Reynolds' project. However, she didn't realize that the people going to the first island were the same people who had screwed up the United States in the first place. And she certainly didn't anticipate working for the likes of Mr. President.
Citizen Bob: The everyman, the normal guy. Citizen Bob earned his nickname by being a citizen of the United States and later, the FDR. Like most of his neighbors he knows nothing about politics but has a good heart and believes in helping those in need, so he registered as a Democrat. The workings of society in the US and the world at large are constantly confusing and baffling to him, but he assumes that everyone else must know what they're doing and so he cheerfully accepts whatever madness is thrown at him. He is a gifted artist but has been shunned from the art community for not insisting that taxpayers fund his work. The chance to start fresh in a new society was an endlessly thrilling and exciting prospect, and Citizen Bob secretly hoped furthermore that this one would be easier to understand. His normal quiet life is about to become not so normal or quiet. It now lies in the hands of Mr. President and Vice Prime Minister William, and their whims will dictate his day-to-day existence. Of course, he hardly would have been in better hands back home.
Steve the Militant Atheist: While his atheist friends accepted that 95% of Americans believe in a deity of some sort, Steve couldn't tolerate such delusions having any influence on their culture or society. He attempted to convert believers by leaving rude comments on their news articles and YouTube videos. He dreams of a utopian society where all citizens work together for the common good and create an advanced civilization that colonizes the universe, but so far his only efforts toward that end have been to vote for the political candidates with the weakest religious convictions. As luck would have it, his voting record qualified him to participate in the first and only phase of Dr. Reynolds' experiment. His Internet comments had been less effective than he had hoped, so he was excited for the chance to start a new adventure and create a society untarnished by the effects of religion.
Pastor John: Since the age of fourteen, Pastor John has felt it his mission in life to rescue all of the poor souls who will otherwise be damned for eternity for not accepting Jesus Christ. The years between then and his graduation from college with a degree in theology were the longest in his life, as he dearly wanted to minister but could not until he got his diploma. As soon as he graduated he started his own church and a huge ad campaign to go with it. Attendance was mediocre, but impressive enough considering the rise of secularism. He wanted to start an anti-Mormon ministry on the side but his conscience wouldn't let him spread lies even for Jesus, a failing that haunts him to this day. Pastor John cares little for anyone's material comforts, as it is their souls that really matter, but he sees humanitarian aid as a means to open hearts for conversion, and so supported government welfare programs with the congregation collections. He saw it as his duty to be present at the creation of the FDR, to ensure that its constitution was built upon Christianity, but found himself tragically outnumbered in that regard.
Postman Pete: Postman Pete is the postman. That's all you need to know about him. Actually, you probably could have figured it out yourself.
Miss Anne Throap: Molding impressionable young children to see the world the right way - her way - was one of Anne's biggest dreams from the time she was an impressionable young child herself. She got the necessary degree and did the necessary student teaching, only to find that the United States' suffering public education system held few openings for someone with her vision. Furthermore, she was disturbed by the excessive harshness of the grading system, specifically that there was one. Her contact in the teachers' union had failed to find her a job and was forbidden by his contract from firing a child molester to create an opening for her, but he did know Dr. Reynolds personally and arranged for her to travel to the FDR. Here was an opportunity not only to educate children, but to construct an entire culture and values system for a fledgling country that currently had none. What she didn't realize was that some of the adults around there were in dire need of an education themselves.
Charlie the Undocumented Worker:
Tookie the Criminal: Tookie lived the American dream, starting out as a janitor at ALCOA and moving up to become one the company's top executives nationwide. It didn't take him long to figure out, though, that when taxes figured into the equation, his increased paycheck wasn't worth the effort. Social Security was just insult to injury. Determined to get the wages he deserved one way or another, he robbed the company treasury and skipped town. Because he was now on the run and couldn't access his bank account, stealing became a way of life. He tried to pick liberal targets who didn't have guns but accidentally picked on an NRA member one night and was forced to kill the man in an impromptu duel. His last shred of morality gone, Tookie continued stealing, killed many more people and contemplated rape. No criminal can hide forever, though, not even bin Ladin, and he knew that very soon the jig would be up. He had to leave the country. A few mob connections smuggled him into the FDR on a supply ship and he prepared for a good life of badness.
Next: Prologue
