My Testimony
(Circa 2018)
By C. Randall Nicholson
I am no longer a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for reasons I describe elsewhere, but I've chosen to leave this statement up as documentation of my worldview in the late 2010s.
A testimony, in Latter-day Saint terminology, is a belief in the truthfulness of the gospel. It can span the spectrum from mild interest to a burning and undeniable conviction. The Holy Ghost is the source of a testimony, through the "burning in the bosom" or other pleasant and peaceful feelings while praying, reading scriptures, attending church or other righteous endeavors. It's always emphasized that everyone should develop their own testimony and not rely entirely on those of their friends and family, although people who struggle to do so shouldn't be judged.
It would be remiss of me not to share mine here. I'm not trying to impress anyone into converting or put down any other religion, but just to testify of what I know and believe to be true. If I were speaking to you in person, the Holy Ghost might have an easier time testifying of my words, but those words wouldn't be nearly as smooth or articulate. On the other hand, I don't want to be too articulate because this needs to be authentic and humble and not pretentious. So I hope I've struck a good balance. (The first draft of this was full of apologetics, and I was trying to impress people into converting. I've since realized that this isn't the time or the place for that.)
Mine isn't a perfect knowledge by any means. Questions still come and go about this and that, but they're eventually resolved or, in a worst-case scenario, shelved until I have more information. I've followed the admonition of Alma 32:27; "But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words." I've done that, and the more faith I exercise, the more justification I receive for my faith, in the form of tangible blessings and spiritual experiences. And I've reached, if not a certainty, closer to it than I ever could have hoped before.
I've been fascinated with anti-Mormonism since I first encountered it at seventeen. After being spiritually beaten half to death, my testimony grew stronger than I could have imagined. I learned to earnestly seek after truth and enlightenment myself and not take it for granted. I discovered for myself that the Church is on quite solid ground, and that while unanswered questions remain, and while material evidence will never prove it or any other religion beyond a shadow of a doubt, a combination of evidence and logic with faith is not only possible but perfectly rational. I'm naturally cynical as well as intelligent but it satisfies me on both counts. While my knowledge isn't perfect, as I've said, I know enough. Even when I have doubts and questions I'll never deny what I do know.
Of the existence of God I'm as certain as the existence of my own peers. For starters, though I accept the Big Bang and evolution and all other valid scientific theories, I could never believe for a second that this vast and complex universe with its myriad beauties is nothing more than a cosmic coincidence, or that animals and even humans are nothing more than complex machines made of meat with nothing to look forward to after death. Because I can't believe these things, I believe in God; but it's much more than that. I've spoken to Him, and He has spoken back to me through the Holy Spirit, offering me guidance and comfort when it could be found in no other source. It's something deep, something unmistakable, something you have to feel to understand, and something you have to open yourself to feel. God manifests Himself to those who humble themselves and come before Him seeking to know Him.
I know also that Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of every person who will ever live. I know that without Him, all of God's children would have to be damned, for no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God; but that through His infinite atoning sacrifice, during which he suffered for every sin, pain and infirmity of every person, we may be cleansed and forgiven. I know that an effort to follow His teachings is necessary to secure this blessing, but that all will fall short and no man will work his way to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way, "the way, the truth and the light". I know that God the Father so loves His children that He gave Jesus Christ to us as His Only Begotten Son in the flesh, and that he has revealed to us in these last days His plan whereby the blessings of the Atonement become available to all who will accept them, regardless of the time and place in which they lived and whether they knew of the Savior in mortality. I know that children beneath the age of eight are sinless and are saved automatically whenever they die before baptism.
I know that Joseph Smith was the prophet called to restore the Church of Jesus Christ in these latter days. He served the Lord to the best of his ability, and through the power of God he was magnified and qualified for the tasks at hand. He never denied the duty to which he'd been called, though it cost him his popularity, his comfort, and his life. He gave more for the Kingdom of God than any mortal before or since and did not live to see the fruits of his labor. At his death, a newspaper reported, "Thus ends Mormonism". What the reporter didn't understand was that the Church was not Joseph Smith's invention, and it did not rise or fall with him. He was a tool in the hands of God. Through persecutions and struggles, the church he founded would survive and eventually prosper, filling the Earth and outlasting all its enemies. That Joseph Smith was called of God and had His support every step of the way, I have no doubt.
I know that the Book of Mormon is true. Though Moroni invites us to pray about it to know of its truth, I've never felt the need to. I know it's true simply by reading it. The authors come to life for me as I read the words they wrote so long ago, as do the other characters and places they describe. But more important than this historical aspect is the theological content, and that I also know to be true, through the power of the Holy Ghost and by putting it into action. The Book of Mormon is the word of God. Prophets were inspired by God to write it, Mormon was inspired by God to compile and abridge it, and Joseph Smith was inspired by God to translate it so that it could stand alongside the Bible as a second witness of Jesus Christ and clarify important truths in the last days.
I know that living prophets and apostles have led the Church since Joseph Smith's time and that President Russell M. Nelson leads it today in that very capacity. They always have wise words that are exactly what we need to hear, both about how to living today and preparing for the future. For example, Gordon B. Hinckley and the apostles exhorted us for years to live within our means and stay out of debt. It should be obvious, but how many people do it? Anyway, this was long before the economic crash of 2008. I don't know if they knew exactly what would go wrong but the Lord told them something big was coming, and He also apparently told them that the members weren't heeding their advice enough and it needed to be repeated a few times. When the prophet and apostles speak, we should listen. Our lives will be so much better for it. Mine is.
In essence, the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, and by extension the Church constructed around it, is the greatest blessing in my life. It's the reason I put up with life's challenges and hope for a better future even as I find joy in the present. It's the reason I try to emulate the Savior instead of mistreating people even when I feel they deserve it (I'm still working on that part). Sometimes it's been the reason I bother getting up in the morning. My challenges haven't been easy, but through Christ they have been possible.
Why is this included under "About Me" instead of "About Latter-day Saints"? Simple. Because it's a part of me.
I say these things in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Order a free copy of the Book of Mormon here.
A testimony, in Latter-day Saint terminology, is a belief in the truthfulness of the gospel. It can span the spectrum from mild interest to a burning and undeniable conviction. The Holy Ghost is the source of a testimony, through the "burning in the bosom" or other pleasant and peaceful feelings while praying, reading scriptures, attending church or other righteous endeavors. It's always emphasized that everyone should develop their own testimony and not rely entirely on those of their friends and family, although people who struggle to do so shouldn't be judged.
It would be remiss of me not to share mine here. I'm not trying to impress anyone into converting or put down any other religion, but just to testify of what I know and believe to be true. If I were speaking to you in person, the Holy Ghost might have an easier time testifying of my words, but those words wouldn't be nearly as smooth or articulate. On the other hand, I don't want to be too articulate because this needs to be authentic and humble and not pretentious. So I hope I've struck a good balance. (The first draft of this was full of apologetics, and I was trying to impress people into converting. I've since realized that this isn't the time or the place for that.)
Mine isn't a perfect knowledge by any means. Questions still come and go about this and that, but they're eventually resolved or, in a worst-case scenario, shelved until I have more information. I've followed the admonition of Alma 32:27; "But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words." I've done that, and the more faith I exercise, the more justification I receive for my faith, in the form of tangible blessings and spiritual experiences. And I've reached, if not a certainty, closer to it than I ever could have hoped before.
I've been fascinated with anti-Mormonism since I first encountered it at seventeen. After being spiritually beaten half to death, my testimony grew stronger than I could have imagined. I learned to earnestly seek after truth and enlightenment myself and not take it for granted. I discovered for myself that the Church is on quite solid ground, and that while unanswered questions remain, and while material evidence will never prove it or any other religion beyond a shadow of a doubt, a combination of evidence and logic with faith is not only possible but perfectly rational. I'm naturally cynical as well as intelligent but it satisfies me on both counts. While my knowledge isn't perfect, as I've said, I know enough. Even when I have doubts and questions I'll never deny what I do know.
Of the existence of God I'm as certain as the existence of my own peers. For starters, though I accept the Big Bang and evolution and all other valid scientific theories, I could never believe for a second that this vast and complex universe with its myriad beauties is nothing more than a cosmic coincidence, or that animals and even humans are nothing more than complex machines made of meat with nothing to look forward to after death. Because I can't believe these things, I believe in God; but it's much more than that. I've spoken to Him, and He has spoken back to me through the Holy Spirit, offering me guidance and comfort when it could be found in no other source. It's something deep, something unmistakable, something you have to feel to understand, and something you have to open yourself to feel. God manifests Himself to those who humble themselves and come before Him seeking to know Him.
I know also that Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of every person who will ever live. I know that without Him, all of God's children would have to be damned, for no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God; but that through His infinite atoning sacrifice, during which he suffered for every sin, pain and infirmity of every person, we may be cleansed and forgiven. I know that an effort to follow His teachings is necessary to secure this blessing, but that all will fall short and no man will work his way to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way, "the way, the truth and the light". I know that God the Father so loves His children that He gave Jesus Christ to us as His Only Begotten Son in the flesh, and that he has revealed to us in these last days His plan whereby the blessings of the Atonement become available to all who will accept them, regardless of the time and place in which they lived and whether they knew of the Savior in mortality. I know that children beneath the age of eight are sinless and are saved automatically whenever they die before baptism.
I know that Joseph Smith was the prophet called to restore the Church of Jesus Christ in these latter days. He served the Lord to the best of his ability, and through the power of God he was magnified and qualified for the tasks at hand. He never denied the duty to which he'd been called, though it cost him his popularity, his comfort, and his life. He gave more for the Kingdom of God than any mortal before or since and did not live to see the fruits of his labor. At his death, a newspaper reported, "Thus ends Mormonism". What the reporter didn't understand was that the Church was not Joseph Smith's invention, and it did not rise or fall with him. He was a tool in the hands of God. Through persecutions and struggles, the church he founded would survive and eventually prosper, filling the Earth and outlasting all its enemies. That Joseph Smith was called of God and had His support every step of the way, I have no doubt.
I know that the Book of Mormon is true. Though Moroni invites us to pray about it to know of its truth, I've never felt the need to. I know it's true simply by reading it. The authors come to life for me as I read the words they wrote so long ago, as do the other characters and places they describe. But more important than this historical aspect is the theological content, and that I also know to be true, through the power of the Holy Ghost and by putting it into action. The Book of Mormon is the word of God. Prophets were inspired by God to write it, Mormon was inspired by God to compile and abridge it, and Joseph Smith was inspired by God to translate it so that it could stand alongside the Bible as a second witness of Jesus Christ and clarify important truths in the last days.
I know that living prophets and apostles have led the Church since Joseph Smith's time and that President Russell M. Nelson leads it today in that very capacity. They always have wise words that are exactly what we need to hear, both about how to living today and preparing for the future. For example, Gordon B. Hinckley and the apostles exhorted us for years to live within our means and stay out of debt. It should be obvious, but how many people do it? Anyway, this was long before the economic crash of 2008. I don't know if they knew exactly what would go wrong but the Lord told them something big was coming, and He also apparently told them that the members weren't heeding their advice enough and it needed to be repeated a few times. When the prophet and apostles speak, we should listen. Our lives will be so much better for it. Mine is.
In essence, the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, and by extension the Church constructed around it, is the greatest blessing in my life. It's the reason I put up with life's challenges and hope for a better future even as I find joy in the present. It's the reason I try to emulate the Savior instead of mistreating people even when I feel they deserve it (I'm still working on that part). Sometimes it's been the reason I bother getting up in the morning. My challenges haven't been easy, but through Christ they have been possible.
Why is this included under "About Me" instead of "About Latter-day Saints"? Simple. Because it's a part of me.
I say these things in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Order a free copy of the Book of Mormon here.
