I have written occasionally about the time Hayden Nelson of the Logan City Police Department verbally abused me and made me suicidal, the department's refusal to conduct an investigation and share the results with me as promised in its own complaint procedures, the other city, state, and federal agencies that declined to help or simply ignored me, and Angel Echevarria's lawsuit against him and twelve other cops for "unlawful seizure, detainer, arrest and false imprisonment; intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress; negligent training, employment, and supervision; assault; and false testimony among others." Incidentally, the city has since settled that lawsuit by giving Echevarria money, even though Mayor Holly Daines assured me that the city was confident it would win. Awkward. Anyway, I didn't know if my writing had an effect or was just so much screaming into the void, until I found out that Hayden himself had taken notice. I found that out by finding out that he'd blocked me on LinkedIn, where I got this picture that sometimes accompanied my writing.

It didn't take long to make another LinkedIn account and confirm that he hadn't just deleted his. Mind you, the following screenshot is from June 1, 2024. I've already written about it in my memoir published at the end of that year, Goodbye Mormonism, Hello World: My Slightly Pretentious Search for the Truths of Life, the Universe, and Everything, which you probably haven't read. I put off writing about it on my blog for some time because I refuse to let him dictate my life, but I always meant to sooner or later - not just to get back at him, an impulse from which I've tried to distance myself, but to help ensure that he never works in law enforcement again. Oh yeah, spoiler alert.

Not only did he make a career change, he changed his last name to "N." That is rich. That is priceless. I have to imagine I played some part in this, since all search results for his name and employer were either from my website or news stories about the lawsuit against him, and I know he was aware of the former. (He may or may not have also been aware that I mentioned him by name in my Master's thesis, which does not show up in those searches.) At this point, if he were merely stupid and poorly trained as opposed to being a bad person, he could have recognized the unnecessary and unwarranted trauma that he caused me, done some self-reflection, and reached out to apologize. He chose to block me instead. That silent reaction speaks volumes. Logan is much safer without this unintelligent bully serving and protecting it. I hope he treats phones better than he treats human beings.

Hayden, if you ever read this, I guess you know you miscalculated when you assumed this terrified, confused boy couldn't do anything about you abusing him. You really should go a step further and try the self-reflection thing. Just because you changed careers to avoid the consequences of your actions doesn't mean you've become a better person. If you're not interested in becoming a better person, then I guess I can't explain why you should be. Did I mention how glad I am that you're not a cop?

On a more positive note, you became a factor in my journey out of Mormonism and into an existential crisis that was so worth it, so thanks for giving me the worst day of my life, I guess.

I hate most pictures of myself, but here's one that I don't. The composition is perfect, and if I do say so myself, it belongs in a history book next to the famous one of the Capitol police acting all concerned the words "Eat the Rich" scrawled in chalk after the first big protest (documented in this post.) This is the sign that I always take to ICE protests after someone let me keep it after I offered to hold it while she drew on the sidewalk. I never saw her again.

Yesterday I went straight from an ICE protest at Home Deport to a conversion therapy protest at the Capitol, so I still had this sign with me as I passed through Temple Square like I usually do to get to the Capitol. I was reminded of an incident from my first protest against Trump's Muslim ban in 2017 (which started at the very same federal building in the picture), when I was still Mormon and had to commute from a different city. Here's the relevant excerpt from the relevant blog post, with its horrible grammar intact:

Ah yes, I remember when that was my most traumatizing encounter with police. Ha. Ha ha.

Actually, until I looked it up just now, I had forgotten about the "Even if you're just walking through," but if I had remembered it, that wouldn't have stopped me from intentionally keeping the "Oh Boy... Nazis" side of my sign facing out as I walked through Temple Square both ways. Since I'm not Mormon anymore, I can say "Fuck those guys" without feeling guilty. Fuck those guys. Anyway, attendance was sparse this time, and I don't think any of the ten people I saw took any notice of me. On the way down Capitol Hill before I reached Temple Square, though, I saw several companionships of sister missionaries walking up to their apartments, and I thought it would be kind of funny to make sure the words on my sign were visible to them as we crossed paths. Most of them took no notice of me either, but I got a mumbled "Have a good day," a cheery "Hello!", and a head silently turned for a good look at my sign. Or maybe my ass, but probably my sign. This is just the part of my weekly political activism that I chose to share because it took little time or effort to write about.

Every week under this administration feels like a month. Was the orange taint's speech really just this week? I didn't watch it, but I was very disappointed to hear that his insane blathering about transgender mice wasn't interrupted by a military coup, or more accurately, a military counter-coup. I do think that's where this is going to end after he refuses to follow the court orders against him and orders the military to attack our allies. I really hope the bulk of the military is more loyal to the constitution than to this self-proclaimed king. I bet it helps that he's shitting on veterans every chance he gets.

I also predict that we'll see proof that Musk rigged the election, and that's why the elected president, despite being an unparalleled narcissist, lets him act as the real president. An organization called Election Truth Alliance has identified anomalies in the vote tabulations and is raising money to sue for audits. I believe it's onto something because of what I just said and also because every Republicunt accusation is a confession and also because the orange taint, Musk, and Musk's little human shield have all made multiple very sketchy statements pointing in that direction and also because, as I said right after the election, it made no goddamn sense for the orange taint to win the popular vote and every swing state for the first time after his brain turned into cottage cheese and he couldn't keep people at his rallies. If the election was stolen, that's actually great news because it means he has less support than I thought and this country is less rotten to the core than I thought. And most of us actual people didn't deserve it, but on a macro level, the country sure did. It's 100% karma for decades of installing and propping up right-wing dictatorships in other countries. The US deserves to lose a lot of its global power and influence. It's just unfortunate that China will swoop in to fill the gap.

I've been in three protests since the protest I wrote about a week ago - one for democracy, one for science, one for women's rights. I've become a satirical film character. Right-wing YouTuber Nick Shirley showed up again to the former, this time with four or five of his little douchebro friends in tow. The cops escorted them out after one of them disrupted the proceedings with a sign that said "Save Our Big Booty Latinas." (I had to quote the sign directly in case you're still under the delusion that these are decent people with a valid alternative point of view.) I'm grateful that when Salt Lake cops aren't shooting autistic teenagers for running away, ordering their dogs to attack compliant and motionless suspects, or hazing rookies by mutilating deceased homeless people, they sometimes do their job. In addition to protecting our constitutional rights because they're supposed to, some of them may actually be on our side because the orange taint pardoned a bunch of people who assaulted cops and Utah's Republicunt legislature just made it illegal for cops (and firefighters and teachers) to collectively bargain. Nick Shirley wasn't at the next two protests. Maybe the cops scared him, or maybe he has enough awareness in his tiny mind to realize that mocking science and women's rights is a bad look. I'm guessing the cops scared him.

My landlord has been banging and drilling and stuff next to my bedroom all week without warning me he was going to do that. Yesterday morning he had a plumber over and shut off the water without warning me he was going to do that. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I went to a hip-hop show with my little nieces before the protest, though, so that was fun. Oh yeah, and daylight savings time started today, so I anticipate that the next week will suck. Daylight savings time should be shot, run over with a truck, and shot a few more times. I got in trouble for writing that on Facebook once because Facebook is stupid.

22:00
Would an actor named Cunidan Chesterbutt be funny, or is it just me?
Sorry
22:01
Like not sorry, cause I’m laughing, but sorry it’s weird, but not like Trump weird so it’s fine [cry-laugh emoji]
22:04
2 mins later: Shit, I hope I sent that to the right person
22:30
Chesterbed Cunningbald. Saved for reference. I knew you’d understand
22:32
Kylie no Kyping. No cops
22:33
I know that’s not a word, okay. It was a joke that I thought was funny but you probably won’t – emoji or no? Okay

22:37
Kylie: What in the world, Chris? [two cry-laugh emojis]

22:38
Chesting Cunningbutt. Running gag keeps me grounded to you
22:39
It’s not illegal. It has a store here
22:41
I am delirious and aware at the same time. I know I’m weird, but not Trump weird. I know this will brighten your day, which makes me laugh a lot
22:42
Not a bot
Remember Angie, it’s really me
Oh no not Angie
22:43
I’m fine, just joking, no sadness, only joy and love and peace
22:44
I can write better than this if I’m not high
22:47
This is what you get for earning my trust
Tell me to stop if you’re not having too much fun
Or enough
22:48
Not in a flirty way. If that sounds flirty, disregard. I’m over-explaining myself to make sure because I’m high
I just thought too much fun was a weird phrasing, but it sounded high, so I added to it
22:49
If I stop, I’m not dead. I’ve done this twice before
It’s not illegal
Even in whatever state I’m in. I know, but you don’t
22:52
I have more profound thoughts than Chestingham Cunningbutt, but they’re not yours
22:57
If I remember the Sesame Hindu gods, if I remember the connection
Note to self
22:59
Sydney Sweeney has a martini,
What is she going to do?
I had some ideas for eating Puccini*,
But I couldn’t write a haiku.
 
*Pun because it sounds like a pasta
I’m not faking it
23:00
I’m making you laugh, I hope. It brings me joy to share my joy. Gag, virtue signaler
23:02
No one says Coinkydonk. How will Kylie react to that? It’s stupid
23:04
I write these things and then I lay back down in bed and instantly, it’s a distant, hazy memory because of how time works because of the time break, I mean the drug. I choose the words to make them sound drugged, but I can do better, I just want to do them like that and go back to bed and be like woah (sound drugged)
I can do better because I have an English degree. You know that. Good night
23:13
I made a connection. Maybe I drowned in a previous life, and that’s why getting water in my eyes went to just hating it and not wanting to swim. Even though I’m skinny so I can’t float. Is that profound? I think so, and I’ll see in the morning.
I thought it was falling at first, that I died by falling, but it could be both. Multiple lives
23:14
Margaret please, I beg of you, it is three o’clock in the morning
23:22
I want you to know, don’t worry, it’s kicking my ass in the best way. Even if you’re not high, that’s clever
I know you’re not. I mean you in the general sense. Please don’t block me
23:23
The Margaret thing was a meme, or at least it sounded like one
Waiting to explain that later is funny while I’m high. It’s probably not too you. But maybe, if the timing is right.
23:24
*to, dang it, I swear that’s the first time my writing’s been so messed up. But you can see I’m aware now. And funny as I am, I’m not clever enough to fake this. Right? It’s self-evident.
23:27
I checked to see that you said, “What in the world, Chris? [two cry-laugh emojis]” Because now that seems like a distant memory, even a dream. Did I really write so much? I’m sorry. I’ve got to sleep soon, which changes the context of the apology in English, and I’m laughing because I hope you’re smiling, or vice-versa, so that’s all for now. I hope I have no bad thoughts to spill out with this truth serum. But I’m happy. I hope you are too
And stuff, I debated adding to the end of that sentence
23:28
Not wanting to be too high, not wanting to be too dull or prosaic
23:36
Bishop Verlo Howell: does he love me? Does anyone care for me? These things come to me, I think of sending them to you, it seems stupid, then it doesn’t seem stupid, then I do it. I have agency, but then it’s like a dream and I don’t. But I only do what I want and then conk out. And it’s a whole other realm, so to speak
23:37
Like that was stupid right? But I did it as if it wasn’t. My shoulder hurts. I’m going back to bed. Is this weird enough, or too weird? One thing’s for sure, it’s the best experience of my life. It will go great in my book.
23:38
Research, doncha know [wink emoji]
My actual book, not my metaphorical book meaning my opinion
23:39
Restraint. You don’t know a hundredth of what I’m going through. I can’t make you get it, but it’s all good, so good. I could die tonight and be satisfied with everything in the universe, but I won’t. I have stuff to do. And this is legal, even here. Callback to earlier when I said that.
23:41
It’s like a roller coaster that goes for what feels like twelve or twenty hours, but I never get sick. I just love it, and I hate rollercoasters. But there’s a time break, I mean a drug. Callback.
See, I can make connections. My brain’s not fried even though it’s in a constant state of explosion
23:42
Writing that was amazing. Everything is. You are, but don’t get cocky.
23:44
I keep thinking about Mary. I kind of love her, but as a friend, that’s all I know. She’s a goddess, but also an alcoholic, and she’s working on that. I love her, and I want her to succeed. Regardless of anything else. idk the future, do you? If you do, you’ve been holding out on me. Okay? I just spaced out guy a minute. It felt like longer than that. I’m not trying to be cute with the Mary thing, I promise, I’m just irrational but also aware, but not of how stupid it is to say these things.
23:49
Kylie, I won’t tell anyone to do drugs, but this is the best fucking thing of my life. (Swear for emphasis.) My smile grows as I share it, but you can never understand what it’s like to smile like this. I mean, you smile, but I mean you’re not having my experiences, and I can’t do them justice in this dead language
23:49
See, I sent my previous text 4 mins ago, but it felt like I took a nap for two hours in between then and now
23:51
I had a grasshopper in my room today. I got it out. It’s not jumping on me tonight. That’s all. It’s stupid to write those things, but then I do it like a dream. I’m dizzy though. Good night.
00:16
I’ve just been cruising non-stop. It feels like six hours or more. I want to remember to listen to the Arab chipmunk song when I see this in the morning. That’s a real song, but just what I call it.
00:20
Fortune cookie idea: The afterlife doesn’t care that you’ve lost weight.
00:23
Connection between Hume’s colors (not Plato’s) and the language filtering that one lady talked about. Note for tomorrow. You’re my notepad, Kylie. But I can’t describe most of this.
07:39
I’m alive. Told you [cry-laugh emoji]

08:25
Kylie: Oh good [two cry-laugh emojis]
08:26
Kylie: I mean, I was a wee bit worried about you. But at the same timem it sounded like you were having a grand time [cry-laugh emoji]

Cunidan Chesterbutt was apparently my brain's attempt to pronounce Benedict Cumberbatch, and I found it hilarious. I knew it would be less funny to someone who wasn't high, but also that me finding it so funny because I was high would be funny to Kylie. This is the Arab chipmunk song:

And I think the rest is self-explanatory. Maybe you can't tell, but it really was, without hyperbole, the best experience of my life. It was a thousand times better than an orgasm. I was peace, love, and joy strapped to a rocket for what felt like twelve hours. At one point I felt like my arms and my left leg dissolved into the universe, and it felt great, and I rooted for the rest of my body to dissolve. I'll work on that. And I ​understand now why Elijah McClain told the cops who were killing him for no reason, “You all are phenomenal. You are beautiful and I love you.”

I inadvertently shared political misinformation in last week's post. Trump's nickname for Harris isn't "Laughing Kamala," it's "Laffin' Kamala." We know this because he spelled it out to his supporters at a rally, and they laughed and cheered him for it because they have the mental capacity of slugs. I apologize for misrepresenting the pathological liar.

Speaking of morons... oh, my God. Holy crap.

I can't even with this bullshit about the Olympics. I can't tell you how tired I am of weird right-wing maggots spreading flat-out lies about Imane Khelif long after they lost any excuse for not knowing better. I mean, on the one hand, watching conservatives who have spent the last several years being the genital police suddenly swear up and down without a trace of irony or self-awareness that a person born with a vagina is really a man is kind of funny. But then I remember that a. most of these chucklefucks are allowed to vote and b. these chucklefucks are actively making the world a living hell not just for transgender people but for any cisgender woman who might look a little masculine. So yeah, sorry not sorry, but I don't think the world would lose anything of value if they all held their breath for about ten minutes. I'll admit that's a moral failing on my part. Sue me.

Imane Khelif is not a man. She never was a man. Muslim countries like Algeria hate LGBTQ people as much as Republicans do, and the chance that one of them would put a transgender athlete on any of their sports teams is zero. Imane Khelif apparently has some biological advantages, just like all Olympic athletes have biological advantages over the average person and many of them have biological advantages over each other because news flash, life isn't fair and everyone's bodies are not the same. A boxing association that's run by Russians and not affiliated with the Olympics disqualified her partway through a match based on the unspecified results of some sketchy secret test, conveniently allowing the Russian athlete to win. Many lying right-wing bigots (sorry for the redundancy) claim that the IBA statement says she's a man. It doesn't. It says she was "found to have competitive advantages over OTHER FEMALE COMPETITORS." (Emphasis added for the mentally challenged.) Regardless, the constant bitching about "uNfAiR aDvAnTaGe" from people who have never cared about women's boxing, never complained about any other athlete's advantages, and never heard of the IBA until this week is the reason I have no faith in humanity. And isn't it funny, by which I mean disgusting, how conservatives suddenly care about unfair advantages after all the time they've spent denying or justifying the unfair advantages that people have in society because of their race, their sex, and/or their parents' wealth? Where's their outrage over asshole billionaires like Elon Musk doing whatever the hell they want? Imane Khelif has also lost more matches against other women than she's won, including in the last Olympics four years ago when none of these crayon-eating arse ends knew she existed, so you know, fuck off already.

What we're seeing here is conservatives' brains breaking in real time as they're forced to stop pretending that intersex people don't exist. There's actually no proof that Imane Khelif is intersex, and for her sake I hate that the internet has exploded into a debate over what she has in her cells and between her legs, but someone at some point said that she has XY chromosomes and that became an accepted fact. So suddenly genitals don't matter and chromosomes are the sole determining factor of biological sex. There has to be a sole determining factor because bigots are incapable of nuance or science. Their worldview has no room for the complexity of sex and gender that exists in the real world. Intersex people have been known to exist for thousands of years longer than Christians have existed, but they're still scary and dangerous to the conservative ones. And now they've forced themselves into a position where people with vaginas should use men's bathrooms if they have XY chromosomes. Good Lord. Too bad chromosomes are harder for bigots to police. It's a statistical certainty that a non-zero number of women who insist that Imane Khelif is a man have XY chromosomes themselves and don't know it.

Anyway, this whole controversy erupted because Imane Khelif's opponent, who appears to have the same body type as her, had a public meltdown about getting punched too hard in a sport that consists entirely of people punching each other. It wasn't her first public meltdown either. And she also happens to be a police officer, so she probably just wasn't used to attacking a brown person who was allowed to fight back. She has since said, "I want to apologize to her and everyone else. I was angry because my Olympics had gone up in smoke. I don't have anything against Khelif. If I were to meet her again, I would embrace her." This would be a good signal for the troglodytes spreading lies and hate on her behalf to shut the fuck up, but of course instead they said she had nothing to apologize for and doubled down on spreading lies and hate. And that's a perfect illustration of why Donald Trump became president of the United States and why he has a non-zero chance of becoming president of the United States again. God, it makes me ill. Speaking of rapists, a child rapist named Steven van de Velde who only served one year in prison also competed in the Olympics, but conservatives sure were quiet about that. I wonder why.

The good news is that calling these brainless fascist pricks "weird" has turned out to be a surprisingly effective and brilliant strategy. In four minutes, this video explains why.