Childish Stories

C. Randall Nicholson

If you're really obsessed with my life, either see a psychologist or check out Childish Scraps for a look at bits and pieces of stuff that I wrote prior to middle school.

The Apple Book

Made in first grade, this was meant to be the most complete and authoritative book ever on apples. And it would have been, if I'd ever completed it. The first page there must have been written and illustrated by someone else, but darned if I have any idea who.

Santa's Disaster

Jack was clearly inspired by Theodore as described by Santa in "A Chipmunk Christmas". I learned the word "pessimist" from an Uncle Wiggily story and the word "coincidence" from Lego Island 2.

Christopher Nicholson, December 12-02-01 / Santa's elves were very upset. A terrible disaster had happened in the toy factory. First, let me introduce the elves. Derek is Santa's most creative elf, and Jack is a spunky fellow who loves to eat. Tristan is, well... a pessimist! Anyway, they paced idly in circles, not knowing what to do about it. / Earlier, the quality control robots had all collided with a blue skateboard at the same time. What a coincidence! They gradually broke down from the impact, and no one witnessed the terrible scene. / Santa Claus came out of the toy repairing office and asked,

As if he could read their minds, he answered,

Birdie and the Beast

This story was finished, but the remainder of it is evidently lost forever. Sorry about that.

Bouncers, Whoppers, & Taradiddles

In elementary school I was taught how to lie for entertainment purposes. To this day I use this skill in my blog (just kidding).

Fyarego Factcher

Factchers were my ripoff of Pokémon (explored in more detail here) and Fyarego, Myjerio and Fod were three of them who had godlike powers (Fod, in fact, was just "God" with one letter changed). For some reason I don't remember, this story had at least some of the Factchers as the offspring of "Mrs. Factcher", but that was not actually a part of the Factcher canon. Now, allow me to teach you some things about reproduction that you probably never knew before.

Mrs. Factcher was pregnant. The sperm cell split halfway, and something went wrong. When she upchucked, it came out with everything else, and when the toilet was flushed it ended up in the sewer. It got stuck on the leg of a man who was trying to stop the puke from clogging the pipes. When he climbed out, he brushed against a man who was going to work. The sperm cell was three-fourths split when it fell into the nuclear reactor, and emerged as a slightly deformed baby boy with muscles on his muscles. /

machine gun with a banyot (bayonet) attached. He pulled the trigger. Myjerio and Fod jumped away, but Fyarego ran. He ran so fast that the speeding missile was a thousand miles behind him. Then he stopped and jumped, so that it wizzed [sic] between his legs. Then he ran back. He scurried into the cockpit of the giant robot and fixed its circuits.

Math Blaster Mystery

A little story based on the characters from Math Blaster Episode I: In Search of Spot, except that I left out Spot, got Blasternaut confused with a guy named Rave who appears in some different Math Blaster games, and took the liberty of naming the yellow three-eyed trash alien "Greezok" because come on, no one just calls himself "the yellow three-eyed trash alien". I apologize that toward the end this story gets not merely stupid but kind of disturbing as well. What can I say? I had issues.

Captain Rave scratched his chin. There wasn't a clue as to who stole the golden flute.

light, Greezok was left holding the smoking stump of a blaster pistol. But then, just as Rave was saying,

The Coyote and the Fly

For a class assignment to write a story with a moral in it.

The Mystery of the Stolen Gumdrop Cookies

I had a little plush of Reptar from the show "Rugrats", and I named him Cerebone and made him a detective. This story was a fourth grade school project and the only one that made it outside my imagination. Some plot ideas may or may not have been plagiarized from a Cam Jansen story.

It is I, Cerebone, the world's greatest detective. Rather than an informative phamphlet [sic], I'll use a story about last Wednesday. As I recall, I was on vacation with my faithful assistants Stego, Rex, and Tricera. I baked my famous gumdrop cookies á la Cerebone and placed it on the counter to cool (there's nothing more atrocious than the taste of hot gumdrops.) The phone rang. A case!

Stego, Rex, and Tricera began to regain consicnous [sic].

obviously from his chest, and the ciggarette butt was false evidence.

Coming Soon: The Ice Age Mystery, The Case of the Raided Tomb, The Case of the Bank Robbery, Ghosts in the Tower of London, The Case of the Kidnappers, The Case of the Barking Warden

Why the Planets are Separate

Poor Pluto. First it was a region, then it got upgraded to a planet, and now it's just whatever. Showing my age here, eh? The phrase "in the time before time" was taken from Bionicle's description of Mata Nui.

Tristan Saves Christmas (Or, Santa's Other Disaster)

We had to choose a story prompt and write a story from it, so that's where the first two sentences came from. Evidently Tristan had learned to stop being a pessimist and take charge of his own circumstances by now. Unfortunately, the conclusion of this story has been lost. Spoiler alert: everyone died.

Matthew Flurx

A romance set in space. Never finished. It was an assignment for Music class in seventh grad, to set a story to some classical music piece about unrequited love that I don't remember, and then for some reason I had to abandon it and do a normal story.

would kill to possess, and in this close proximity he could smell waves of Synthetic Mating Pheremones - humans called it perfume - every time she took a step. / Then she reached the spaceship. / Matthew's hearts resumed beating at twice their normal pace. When the show ended, he hurried to her trailer where she was mopping up fake blood. (She had been shot in the last act.) She removed her short, stubby human finger gloves and flexed her real ones. She shook his hand.

Main Page: Short Stories by C. Randall Nicholson

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crandallnicholson at gmail dot com

My other websites:
Amazon Author Page
Life, the Universe, and Everything Wiki
Entebbe Alpha & Omega Development Organization Uganda

Everything that can be copyrighted by me is © C. Randall Nicholson (he/him) 2010-2024, and everything that cannot is not. As should be obvious to any reasonable person, this website is not owned by, endorsed by, sponsored by, accepting bribes from, or affiliated in any way with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Utah State University, any political parties or candidates, Lucasfilm, Nintendo, the Irish Mafia, or anyone else except me. The inclusion of external sources is not an endorsement of every viewpoint or claim contained therein. Due to government restrictions, this website is not available in Abbudin, Agrabah, Aidnaryk, Aldastan, Aldovia, Aleshar, Algaria, Alphenlicht, Andalasia, Ankh-Morpork, Arcium, Arendelle, Arendia, Arjuna, Armaeth, Artakha, Artidax, Astel, Atan, Attolia, Avalon, Beltrazo, Benlucca, Berzerkistan, Bialya, Blefuscu, Borduria, Borogravia, Brovania, Brynnel, Bulungi, Calatia, Caldonia, Cammoria, Carbombya, Carnolitz, Casbahmopolis, Catan, Cherek, Chima, Chyrellos, Cthol Murgos, Cynesga, Cythera, Daconia, Dacovia, Däfos, Dalasia, Dalsona, Daxia, Deira, Delchin, Deltora, Derka-derkastan, Destral, Dinotopia, Drasnia, Duban, Dubatio, Eddis, Edom, Eire, Elbonia, Elenia, Enchancia, Equatorial Kundu, Equestria, Erewhon, Flatland, Florin, France, Freedonia, Fuh, Gamelon, Ganesia, Gar og Nadrak, Genosha, Genovia, Gilead, Goona, Gorch, Grand Fenwick, Guilder, Gwyliath, Haganistan, Holodrum, Honalee, Hortensia, Hyrule, Hytopia, Illyria, Ishtar, Jedera, Jemal, Jenno, Jiardasia, Jueland, Kadir, Kalynthia, Kamistan, Kantaria, Katakor, Katurrah, Kazhistan, Khairpura-Bhandanna, Khakistan, Khemed, Kibalakaboo, Koholint, Kookatumdee, Koridai, Krakozhia, Kumranistan, Kunami, Kyrat, Kyrzbekistan, Labrynna, Lamorkand, Latveria, Lemmink, Lichtenslava, Lilliput, Lorule, Lotharia, Lubovosk, Maldonia, Maragor, Mata Nui, Matar, Medici, Mesociam, Metru Nui, Mishrak ac Thull, Moldera, Monterria, Muldavia, Nambutu, Narnia, Naruba, Nehwon, North Azbaristan, Nuevo-Rico, Nutopia, Nyissa, Nynrah, Odina, Okoto, Oriana, Oz, Pallia, Panem, Pappyland, Patusan, Pelosia, Penglia, Perivor, Pilchardania, Pincoya, Pingo-Pongo, Poldavia, Poptropica, Pottsylvania, Quelf, Qumar, Qumran, Qurac, Ramat, Rendor, Riva, Ronguay, Ruritania, Samavia, San Lorenzo, San Theodoros, São Madrigal, São Rico, Scatland, Schmuldavia, Sendaria, Shamar, Slafka, Slokovia, Slorenia, Sodor, Sokovia, Sondonesia, Sosaria, Sounis, South Azbaristan, Stelt, Strong Badia, Subrosia, Syldavia, Sylvania, Tamul, Tanol, Tarenta, Tashistan, Tega, Terabithia, Termina, Tetaragua, Thalesia, Thatotherstan, Thulahn, Tolemac, Tolnedra, Tomania, Transia, Trazere, Turaqistan, Turmezistan, Ul'dah, Ulgoland, the United States of Auradon, Utopia, Valesia, Velattiane, Voresbo, Voya Nui, Wadata, Wadiya, Wakanda, Westeros, Wongo, Wrenly, Xanth, Xia, Zakaz, Zamad, Zamunda, Zaraq, Zekistan, or Zenovia. I apologize for the inconvenience.