Main Page: Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men from Mars
Behind the Scenes of Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men from Mars
Though this story is based on someone else's script, I did a lot of work to get it in the condition it's in now. For better or worse, it may now verge on self-parody. In my version, Indiana Jones experiences a midlife crisis and comes dangerously close to breaking the fourth wall as he realizes how absurd and formulaic his adventures are. I added many references to previous adventures in the Expanded Universe, especially The Further Adventures of Indiana Jones comics series and The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles TV show and the Bantam novels, that most casual fans probably aren't familiar with. In one case this resolved a plot hole - the script never explains where the dog came from or why it's so intelligent and helpful. My hinting at a connection with a shapeshifting man from other books may be a bit of a copout, but it's more of an explanation than Jeffrey Boam bothered with. My most obscure reference is to a girl named Rita that Indy almost married once, according to a couple of sentences in the original Raiders of the Lost Ark novelization by Campbell Black, where he thinks about random things to avoid falling asleep while lashed to the periscope of a German submarine.
My intention with both of these approaches was to make the story a bit more realistic by placing it in the broader context of Indy's life, rather than it being just yet another adventure that happens and is never mentioned again as he moves on to the next. Yes, I realize that realism isn't the franchise's highest priority, but I wanted to do something fresh and different.
As I mentioned, I had to change a couple things to avoid redundancy with Crystal Skull. There were surprisingly few instances of this. In the original script Indy survives a nuclear blast in a similar yet far less ridiculous method; he goes into a crawlspace beneath the floor of one of the fake houses and pulls the fridge over the top of it. I had to change it so he escapes earlier and sees the blast from a distance, providing some foreshadowing and gentle ribbing of the much-maligned film version. The script also has Marion Ravenwood and Willie Scott teasing Indy at the beginning and ends with Indy and Elaine getting married. Since Indy in "Crystal Skull" isn't supposed to have seen Marion for twenty years, I no longer identify these women by name, and leave it vague as to whether he's hallucinating them in his drunkenness and heartache altogether. As for the second bit, it's bad enough that his marriage to Dierdre Campbell is so rarely mentioned in other sources, but another would just be too much to swallow and require a sequel to explain what happened to her. So I changed that and made it poignant and stuff.
The script was too short for a movie, let alone a novelization. I had to insert a lot just to get it to something approaching a respectable length. If you haven't read the script, just give me credit for whichever parts you like, okay? To give one of the more drastic examples, here's a brief passage:
INDY
I didn't discourage you?
ELAINE
Not hardly.
She finishes bandaging the wound.
ELAINE
The Iban temple exists. It has taken me three years to raise the money for this expedition, and though I’m touched by your concern or my well-being, it won't stop me...Finding the temple means more to me than anything. Either you take me, or I’ll find a guide who will.
INDY
Well. I don't want that to happen.
She looks into his eyes and feels the attraction herself.
ELAINE
I feel compelled to tell you, Dr. Jones, that I'm engaged to Dr. Benjamin F. Morganthal...a wonderful, intelligent man...
INDY
An intelligent man wouldn't let you come to Borneo alone, Dr. McGregor.
Their look is magnetic and they hold the look a little longer than comfortable. Just then Kabul appears.
KABUL
Good news, Dr. Jones...I sold the boat.
INDY
(sotto)
Not now, Kabul.
KABUL
...Good price.
ELAINE
You sold the boat? Your boat?
KABUL
Yes.
INDY
No. There's been some mistake... he didn’t sell our boat...
(to Kabul with extra emphasis)
I never said sell “the boat"...I said, sell “the goat”.
KABUL
(totally lost)
The goat?
ELAINE
Is there a problem?
INDY
No, no problem. Why don't you get your things. Kabul is going to get the boat ready for the trip upriver.
Kabul's eyes widen. She moves off. Indy watches her in a daze.
Now here's that passage as I fleshed out and slightly rearranged it for my novelization:
He blinked. “You mean I didn’t discourage you?”
“Not hardly,” she said, finishing his bandage and pulling it snug. She looked him in the eye again. “The Iban temple exists,” she said with conviction. “It has taken me three years to raise the money for this expedition, and though I’m touched by your concern for my well-being, it won’t stop me. Finding the temple means more to me than anything. Either you take me, or I’ll find a guide who will.”
“Well.” Indy swallowed uncomfortably, suddenly feeling the heat. “I don’t want that to happen.”
Their gazes remained locked for a few more seconds, and at the same moment both of them began feeling a bit uncomfortable. As luck would have it, Kabul reappeared just then. “Good news, Dr. Jones!” he said, rushing up to them. “I sold the boat!”
Indy snapped back to the present. “Not now, Kabul,” he mumbled sotto voce.
“Good price – what?”
“You sold the boat?” Elaine said, sounding a bit distressed. “Your boat?”
“Yes,” Kabul said apologetically, looking in confusion from one to the other.
“No,” Indy said, forcing a laugh, “there’s been some mistake. He didn’t sell our boat.” He gave Kabul a cold hard stare and put extra emphasis on his words. “I never said sell ‘the boat’. I said sell ‘the goat’.”
Kabul was totally lost. “The goat?”
“Is there a problem?” Elaine said testily.
“No, no problem,” Indy insisted. “Why don’t you get your things? Kabul is going to get the boat ready for the trip upriver.”
Kabul’s eyes widened. Elaine looked at them both strangely, then shrugged to herself and moved off into the crowd. Indy stared after her in a daze, admiring her walk, the walk of someone who knew where she was going and what she wanted in the world. His gaze drifted down to her ankles. Nice ankles, strong ankles.
It took him a few seconds to notice Kabul tugging on his sleeve. “Indy, are you all right?” he was saying. “Do you have a fever or something? You’re acting strange.”
Indy waved him off. “I’m just tired. I’ll sleep on the boat.”
“If we can get it back,” Kabul said. “The man I sold it to will want twice as much for it now, to recoup his loss.”
“Write him a check,” Indy said. “Let me worry about it.” Actually, Marcus Brody would be the one who would have to worry about it, but Indy would make it up to him. Somehow.
***
The crackling fire sent sparks spiraling up into the sky, joining the stars before they fizzled out. Indy knew that in fact most of the stars themselves had also “fizzled out” quite some time ago, and their light was just now reaching Earth. The kind of distances involved were impossible for him to wrap his brain around. He preferred not to try.
“They were never so bright back in New Jersey,” Elaine said. She was seated next to him on the fallen log he had dragged over to the campsite. Nearby, out of sight but taking care to stay close to the fire, Kabul was gathering more wood.
“You should get out in the field more often,” Indy said. “I’ve seen this light show a thousand times, from as many angles.”
“It’s always been in the nature of mankind to explore, and colonize, and basically conquer everywhere he can reach,” Elaine continued. She gestured up at the sky. “Do you think he’ll ever get that far?”
Indy shrugged. “I imagine if he does, he’ll lose interest and come home pretty quick. Dusting off space rocks isn’t my idea of a swell time.”
“No,” she said, casting a sidelong glance at him. “I’m sure arrowheads are much more interesting.”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I happen to think they are,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “If you’d care to attend one of my lectures on the subject, I’m sure you’ll come to agree.” He paused to reflect for a moment. “When they aren’t being thrown or shot at you, they’re much easier to examine. That’s always nice.”
She laughed; a magical sound like the tinkling of fairy wings. The red glow of the campfire gave her skin an unearthly quality that might have been unsettling on some people, but in this case only served to augment her beauty.
As she looked into his eyes he noticed the familiar telltale signs that she, too, was beginning to feel something strange. Something unfamiliar, something wonderful, something alarming. She tried to push it aside, pretend it wasn’t there. But before her brain could stop it, her mouth was saying, “I feel compelled to tell you, Dr. Jones, that I’m engaged.”
Indy’s heart sank, but for the moment he hardly noticed it, so trapped was he in those gorgeous brown eyes. “Apropos of what?”
She shrugged. “I just – your reputation precedes you, Dr. Jones. I’ve heard about how you seduce another woman at least every month. And I don’t mean to flatter myself, but if you had that in mind again, you just should know that it isn’t going to work out like that.”
“I’m insulted,” he said. “I’m perfectly capable of maintaining a purely professional relationship with a colleague of the opposite sex.”
“Yes?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Do you know that from experience?”
“Yes!” he snapped. “There was Sophia Hapgood, for one, and – and – others. They’ll come back to me.”
“I suppose those would be less memorable,” she said, shaking her head sadly. “All those women – tell me, Dr. Jones, did any of them really mean anything to you? Or was each just the latest trophy for the shelf of your manhood?”
“That’s getting a bit personal,” Indy said, shifting away from her. “You’ve made your point. You’re off-limits. I respect that.”
“Sorry, I can be a bit blunt sometimes,” she said, not sounding sorry at all. “It’s none of my business. Anyway, let’s forget this silly talk. We have work to do.”
“Agreed.” Indy intended to do just that, but before his brain could stop it, his mouth was saying, “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Dr. Benjamin F. Morganthal. A charming, intelligent man...”
“An intelligent man wouldn’t let you come to Borneo alone, Dr. McGregor,” he retorted softly.
“Maybe he was glad to be rid of me for a while,” she retorted back. “He’s fond of peace and quiet, and he knows I can take care of myself.”
“Peace and quiet. I wonder what that would be like.”
“Perhaps you should have gone into philosophy, Dr. Jones,” Elaine said, standing up and brushing ash off her pants legs. “I’m turning in. Good night.”
My intention with both of these approaches was to make the story a bit more realistic by placing it in the broader context of Indy's life, rather than it being just yet another adventure that happens and is never mentioned again as he moves on to the next. Yes, I realize that realism isn't the franchise's highest priority, but I wanted to do something fresh and different.
As I mentioned, I had to change a couple things to avoid redundancy with Crystal Skull. There were surprisingly few instances of this. In the original script Indy survives a nuclear blast in a similar yet far less ridiculous method; he goes into a crawlspace beneath the floor of one of the fake houses and pulls the fridge over the top of it. I had to change it so he escapes earlier and sees the blast from a distance, providing some foreshadowing and gentle ribbing of the much-maligned film version. The script also has Marion Ravenwood and Willie Scott teasing Indy at the beginning and ends with Indy and Elaine getting married. Since Indy in "Crystal Skull" isn't supposed to have seen Marion for twenty years, I no longer identify these women by name, and leave it vague as to whether he's hallucinating them in his drunkenness and heartache altogether. As for the second bit, it's bad enough that his marriage to Dierdre Campbell is so rarely mentioned in other sources, but another would just be too much to swallow and require a sequel to explain what happened to her. So I changed that and made it poignant and stuff.
The script was too short for a movie, let alone a novelization. I had to insert a lot just to get it to something approaching a respectable length. If you haven't read the script, just give me credit for whichever parts you like, okay? To give one of the more drastic examples, here's a brief passage:
INDY
I didn't discourage you?
ELAINE
Not hardly.
She finishes bandaging the wound.
ELAINE
The Iban temple exists. It has taken me three years to raise the money for this expedition, and though I’m touched by your concern or my well-being, it won't stop me...Finding the temple means more to me than anything. Either you take me, or I’ll find a guide who will.
INDY
Well. I don't want that to happen.
She looks into his eyes and feels the attraction herself.
ELAINE
I feel compelled to tell you, Dr. Jones, that I'm engaged to Dr. Benjamin F. Morganthal...a wonderful, intelligent man...
INDY
An intelligent man wouldn't let you come to Borneo alone, Dr. McGregor.
Their look is magnetic and they hold the look a little longer than comfortable. Just then Kabul appears.
KABUL
Good news, Dr. Jones...I sold the boat.
INDY
(sotto)
Not now, Kabul.
KABUL
...Good price.
ELAINE
You sold the boat? Your boat?
KABUL
Yes.
INDY
No. There's been some mistake... he didn’t sell our boat...
(to Kabul with extra emphasis)
I never said sell “the boat"...I said, sell “the goat”.
KABUL
(totally lost)
The goat?
ELAINE
Is there a problem?
INDY
No, no problem. Why don't you get your things. Kabul is going to get the boat ready for the trip upriver.
Kabul's eyes widen. She moves off. Indy watches her in a daze.
Now here's that passage as I fleshed out and slightly rearranged it for my novelization:
He blinked. “You mean I didn’t discourage you?”
“Not hardly,” she said, finishing his bandage and pulling it snug. She looked him in the eye again. “The Iban temple exists,” she said with conviction. “It has taken me three years to raise the money for this expedition, and though I’m touched by your concern for my well-being, it won’t stop me. Finding the temple means more to me than anything. Either you take me, or I’ll find a guide who will.”
“Well.” Indy swallowed uncomfortably, suddenly feeling the heat. “I don’t want that to happen.”
Their gazes remained locked for a few more seconds, and at the same moment both of them began feeling a bit uncomfortable. As luck would have it, Kabul reappeared just then. “Good news, Dr. Jones!” he said, rushing up to them. “I sold the boat!”
Indy snapped back to the present. “Not now, Kabul,” he mumbled sotto voce.
“Good price – what?”
“You sold the boat?” Elaine said, sounding a bit distressed. “Your boat?”
“Yes,” Kabul said apologetically, looking in confusion from one to the other.
“No,” Indy said, forcing a laugh, “there’s been some mistake. He didn’t sell our boat.” He gave Kabul a cold hard stare and put extra emphasis on his words. “I never said sell ‘the boat’. I said sell ‘the goat’.”
Kabul was totally lost. “The goat?”
“Is there a problem?” Elaine said testily.
“No, no problem,” Indy insisted. “Why don’t you get your things? Kabul is going to get the boat ready for the trip upriver.”
Kabul’s eyes widened. Elaine looked at them both strangely, then shrugged to herself and moved off into the crowd. Indy stared after her in a daze, admiring her walk, the walk of someone who knew where she was going and what she wanted in the world. His gaze drifted down to her ankles. Nice ankles, strong ankles.
It took him a few seconds to notice Kabul tugging on his sleeve. “Indy, are you all right?” he was saying. “Do you have a fever or something? You’re acting strange.”
Indy waved him off. “I’m just tired. I’ll sleep on the boat.”
“If we can get it back,” Kabul said. “The man I sold it to will want twice as much for it now, to recoup his loss.”
“Write him a check,” Indy said. “Let me worry about it.” Actually, Marcus Brody would be the one who would have to worry about it, but Indy would make it up to him. Somehow.
***
The crackling fire sent sparks spiraling up into the sky, joining the stars before they fizzled out. Indy knew that in fact most of the stars themselves had also “fizzled out” quite some time ago, and their light was just now reaching Earth. The kind of distances involved were impossible for him to wrap his brain around. He preferred not to try.
“They were never so bright back in New Jersey,” Elaine said. She was seated next to him on the fallen log he had dragged over to the campsite. Nearby, out of sight but taking care to stay close to the fire, Kabul was gathering more wood.
“You should get out in the field more often,” Indy said. “I’ve seen this light show a thousand times, from as many angles.”
“It’s always been in the nature of mankind to explore, and colonize, and basically conquer everywhere he can reach,” Elaine continued. She gestured up at the sky. “Do you think he’ll ever get that far?”
Indy shrugged. “I imagine if he does, he’ll lose interest and come home pretty quick. Dusting off space rocks isn’t my idea of a swell time.”
“No,” she said, casting a sidelong glance at him. “I’m sure arrowheads are much more interesting.”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I happen to think they are,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “If you’d care to attend one of my lectures on the subject, I’m sure you’ll come to agree.” He paused to reflect for a moment. “When they aren’t being thrown or shot at you, they’re much easier to examine. That’s always nice.”
She laughed; a magical sound like the tinkling of fairy wings. The red glow of the campfire gave her skin an unearthly quality that might have been unsettling on some people, but in this case only served to augment her beauty.
As she looked into his eyes he noticed the familiar telltale signs that she, too, was beginning to feel something strange. Something unfamiliar, something wonderful, something alarming. She tried to push it aside, pretend it wasn’t there. But before her brain could stop it, her mouth was saying, “I feel compelled to tell you, Dr. Jones, that I’m engaged.”
Indy’s heart sank, but for the moment he hardly noticed it, so trapped was he in those gorgeous brown eyes. “Apropos of what?”
She shrugged. “I just – your reputation precedes you, Dr. Jones. I’ve heard about how you seduce another woman at least every month. And I don’t mean to flatter myself, but if you had that in mind again, you just should know that it isn’t going to work out like that.”
“I’m insulted,” he said. “I’m perfectly capable of maintaining a purely professional relationship with a colleague of the opposite sex.”
“Yes?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Do you know that from experience?”
“Yes!” he snapped. “There was Sophia Hapgood, for one, and – and – others. They’ll come back to me.”
“I suppose those would be less memorable,” she said, shaking her head sadly. “All those women – tell me, Dr. Jones, did any of them really mean anything to you? Or was each just the latest trophy for the shelf of your manhood?”
“That’s getting a bit personal,” Indy said, shifting away from her. “You’ve made your point. You’re off-limits. I respect that.”
“Sorry, I can be a bit blunt sometimes,” she said, not sounding sorry at all. “It’s none of my business. Anyway, let’s forget this silly talk. We have work to do.”
“Agreed.” Indy intended to do just that, but before his brain could stop it, his mouth was saying, “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Dr. Benjamin F. Morganthal. A charming, intelligent man...”
“An intelligent man wouldn’t let you come to Borneo alone, Dr. McGregor,” he retorted softly.
“Maybe he was glad to be rid of me for a while,” she retorted back. “He’s fond of peace and quiet, and he knows I can take care of myself.”
“Peace and quiet. I wonder what that would be like.”
“Perhaps you should have gone into philosophy, Dr. Jones,” Elaine said, standing up and brushing ash off her pants legs. “I’m turning in. Good night.”
