"Weird Al" Yankovic has been my favorite music artist for over twenty years. I don't remember precisely when a friend introduced me to him, but I was hooked from the first time I heard "The Saga Begins." He's funny, he does many different genres, and people who have met him have only good things to say about him. He's never had a scandal in his 40+ year career. Last fall, I bought tickets to see him in concert for the first time on my birthday, and that was one of the things that kept me going through the past few months. Now that it's over, the things I look forward to the most are the Legend of Zelda movie and Trump's death. It was the best night of my life, or at least it's tied with a couple of times I was high for the best night of my life, and my summary will fail to do it any justice if you weren't there.

The concert opened with special musical guest Puddles Pity Party, a sad clown who mostly sang covers with humorous videos playing on the screen behind him. His opening number was "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows," and the video showed him chasing a guy in a faceless full-body rainbow costume, and then they reconciled and hugged, and he walked away with a "Kick Me" sign on his back, and the rainbow flipped him off. Another highlight was him singing "Crazy Train" with clips of infuriating stuff like slices of cake being cut in different shapes and sizes, a piece of paper being folded unevenly, and Skittles and M&Ms being mixed into the same bowl. Another highlight was him matching the "Gilligan's Island" theme to the intro of "Stairway to Heaven" against a backdrop of footage from the awful cult classic "Waterworld," with extra emphasis on Kevin Costner. By his final number, I'd had enough of Puddles Pity Party, but he was a great choice for Weird Al's opener - also weird comedy, but a totally different style, so he didn't feel redundant.

After a brief intermission, Al's band set up on the stage, and the camera followed him through the outside hallways as he sang "Tacky," his parody of Pharell Williams' "Happy." Puddles Pity Party made a cameo appearance to show that they were homeboys. Then Al came in, and everyone freaked out, and he high-fived the people in the best seats as he made his way to the stage. I'm just going to make a list of funny and cool things he did with no narrative coherence because again, this isn't an experience I can do justice with narrative coherence.

He called for a drum solo, and his drummer hit the drum one time. Everyone applauded. Later, he called for a drum solo reprise, and his drummer hit the drum twice. So stupid, so predictable, so funny.

He lowered his voice - he can have a low and sensual voice when he wants to - and said, "I'm gonna need all you dudes to chill out, because this next song is just for the ladies." Then, as you can guess if you have any culture at all, he sang "One More Minute." He got down off the stage and got right in a lady's face. Then he pulled a pair of boxers out of his pants and threw them at another lady. She can either treasure those forever or sell them on eBay and retire a millionaire.

He explained that the song he wrote for the end credits of his recent biopic made no sense out of context, but he would play it anyway. It made no sense out of context.

He said he wanted to take a request for a change, and of course everyone shouted at once. He said we couldn't have everyone shouting at once, so he'd pick one person to make a request. Everyone put their hands up. He picked Jim, his guitar player. Jim said, "How about some Doobie Brothers?" Al was like, "No, we have to play one of our songs." (Side note: "our songs?" Such humility!) But Jim just started playing "China Grove," so Al went ahead and sang it straight with no lyrical changes. Very expectations, much subverted!

In between many of the numbers, to give him time to change costumes, the screen showed clips from the Al TV interviews where he makes celebrities look stupid and other TV shows and movies that have referenced or featured him. "King of the Hill" got the biggest laughs: "Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late 80s when people stopped buying his records. He's not worth gettin' into trouble over."

Other songs included "Fat," "Amish Paradise," "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me," "Skipper Dan," "Everything You Know is Wrong," "eBay," "Smells Like Nirvana," "White and Nerdy," the themes from "Captain Underpants" and "Milo Murphy's Law," and "Polkamania!" (his polka medley of hits from the decade since his last album). He sang a very long medley of songs including "Eat It," "Like a Surgeon," "It's All About the Pentiums," and "Word Crimes," and several others that I don't remember at the moment. Singing along with hundreds of other people to songs I know by heart that would elicit blank stares from the average person on the street was surreal and glorious. The kid singing along next to me was probably twelve. There is hope for the rising generation. I realized he must have had a lot of questions about the dated lyrics, like "What's a Polaroid? Who's Jamie Farr?"

Then Al was like, "That's our show for tonight," and he explained that it would be logistically unfeasible to keep going all night. People clamored for another song, and he made a big show of walking a few steps off the stage, then turning back and considering it, then being like, "I just can't!" as someone put a coat on him and helped him along like in the video for "Living With a Hernia." Finally, he and everyone in his band left the stage. Some of the audience actually left as soon as he said the show was over. What the hell? I don't even go to concerts, since I don't like most people enough to pay two hundred dollars to see them, and I knew full well that the show wasn't over. Sure enough, five minutes later, Darth Sidious got on the stage and sat at the piano. He played a funeral march and used the Force to make people cheer. Then Darth Vader, a bunch of stormtroopers, and R2-D2 got on the stage, and Al sang "The Saga Begins." Then he sang "Yoda," but with a long break in the middle where he and the others did a medley of chants from "The Hukilau Song," "Hooked on a Feeling," "Walk the Dinosaur," and other sources I didn't recognize. It was... weird.

I was too busy living in the moment to take pictures during the show, but I took some before and after to prove I was there.

Oh yes, and I got the VIP package, so I met him after the show. The Star Wars people entertained us while we waited in line. I was too awkward to speak up and ask someone to take a picture of Darth Vader choking me. He did act like he was going to choke me and then make a thumbs up instead, which was funny.

And this is my "I just met God" face, apparently. Maybe it's just because I haven't met many stars, but I've never been more starstruck in my life. It was like a middle school crush. Sadly, time did not permit me to become his best friend, but I let him know that he'd made this the best birthday of my life, and I'm sure he loved hearing that because he lives to make people happy.

Recently I went to a fundraiser for Palestine that happened to be a rave. Due to some BS with the police and a landlord, it was moved from its intended location to a beautiful park with lots of trees, which I think was for the best. It was pretty chill, probably not a "real" rave, but I don't have much basis for comparison. Some parents with a couple of little kids were on the playground when we arrived, and they left when the music started. A middle-aged guy showed up with his daughter or granddaughter to use the playground, and he bought something from the Bakers for Palestine table, and then after using the playground for only a few minutes, the little girl wandered around the proverbial dance floor playing with one of the bubble guns that the DJ let her have. Everyone was real nice and careful not to use drugs in front of her. I loved how she kept a poker face the entire time while her father or grandfather beamed at her.

For a while, I sat on the grass and didn't dance or talk to people. Then I joined a circle of people sitting elsewhere in the grass, and they talked about shrooms and weed, and the woman next to me passed around a vape pen full of weed for anyone who wanted to partake. Yes, the scenario of strangers offering me free drugs that I was promised in elementary school finally came true. Since I'd already eaten several THC edibles with no regrets, I gave it a try. She had to show me how. After that, my self-consciousness disappeared, I danced my heart out without caring if I looked stupid, I socialized with people I recognized from multiple protests but never got to know, and I had a great time. I don't think I've ever had such a great time at a social event surrounded by strangers. Richard Nixon can rot in hell for trying to deny me this experience. (And for many other reasons.) Because I wasn't in bed in the privacy of my room, I didn't get a lot of the usual dissociation and hallucination, but I still got some when I closed my eyes and surrendered to the music.

In the process of enriching every aspect of life, THC also makes me more attracted to women than usual. It's not typical for me to see a woman in person and feel compelled to think "God damn, she's cute," but that night, I did. She was just standing there doing the clone trooper dance.

She caught me looking and smiled. I was just about brave enough to go over and tell her that I couldn't help it because she was beautiful and I was high. And it's not like I was the only high person there by a long shot. But I didn't know if she would find that sort of thing amusing, so out of caution and respect, I didn't.

Then just yesterday, I read a study about a newly discovered correlation between THC and early heart disease. This is important to know about, and I'll be mindful of it in the future, but I'm not terribly concerned. This correlation was found in "people who smoked (not vaped) marijuana three or more times a week for at least a year" and "people who consumed THC edibles at least three times a week for at least a year." I haven't consumed THC edibles nearly that often or had any plans to do so. Recently, I've been doing it once every one to two weeks, and now that I've run out, I'm fine to take a break before I get more. I hope they're perfectly safe in moderation. If not, that's unfortunate, but they've had such tangible benefits for my mental health and spirituality that it was worth it even if my heart wears out faster and cuts short the years of old age where everything would hurt and nobody would visit me. I'd like to die quickly from heart failure anyway, not slowly from cancer or starvation.

My landlord is trying to sell the house. I don't know if he'll be able to do that in the economy that Trump singlehandedly broke with his moronic trade war, and if he is, I don't know if I'll have to move. Logically, unless the new owners have a massive family, they should let me and my roommate stay in the basement. It's a self-sufficient living arrangement with its own bathrooms, kitchen, and laundry, and why wouldn't they want to get that income without having to do anything? They'd probably increase the rent, though. And if I do have to move, wherever I go will probably have higher rent. Everything in this country is designed to make sure I'll never save up a comfortable amount of money. The more money I save, the more fucking expensive everything gets. And it's not like this is a great place where I want to stay for the rest of my life, but I really don't enjoy moving.

I'm really trying to let go of my desire and trust that the universe will provide, like I did when I moved here in the first place. It's a lot harder this time for some reason. I've had a lot of anxiety over it in the last few weeks, and the anxiety is an almost physical feeling in my chest that doesn't go away just because my brain tries to talk sense into it. It didn't help that my landlord forgot or failed to add me to the group chat about when people are coming to look at the house, so I was in the shower when some people showed up, and then he was upset with me, and I was like WTF, I didn't do anything wrong, I'm not psychic. I wonder how old that group chat is. All those times he pissed me off by not warning me he was going to make an ungodly amount of noise with his renovations and render my quarters unliveable, maybe he thought he had warned me.

That same day, I went to the dentist and learned that I'll have to get a crown for $1229 (with my membership discount). Hooray. When the receptionist came back to tell me about that as if it were a normal thing I should be okay with, she asked if I was doing anything fun that day, and I said I was going to watch the finale of Andor, and we talked about Star Wars. I said Andor is great because it has a lot of political intrigue, and she said, "It's interesting that a lot of people don't realize how political Star Wars has always been." I fell in love on the spot. Not really, but I felt like I did. Then she called me "love" when I left. She wasn't even British. I understand that her job requires her to smile and be nice to people, but is it really too much to ask for women who aren't British to not call me "love" if they don't love me? Really? The word is "love." Do I need to draw a diagram?

That morning, I had been content with my solitary lifestyle, but then she gave me the smallest taste of the affection that's routinely denied me, and all it did was remind me how hungry I am. Then, because I wanted to have a positive attitude about life and not resent getting screwed out of $1229, I figured at least I'll probably see her again when I go back, and maybe that will be worth $1229. Probably not, but in my defense, last year I got financially screwed to the point of suicidality and it led to me establishing a real relationship with my uncle despite our political differences and spending a bunch of time with his youngest kids, who turned out to worship me, and it taught me that relationships are more important than money. So this isn't just about the receptionist being attractive. But, like, money is still important if you enjoy having any of the basic necessities of life. Don't get it twisted.

I watched Revenge of the Sith in the theater for its 20th anniversary re-release. It had a cool intro by Hayden Christensen, enjoying his new popularity after years of hate. He said, "This is where the fun begins." I was like, "He said the thing!" When I first watched it almost twenty years ago, of course it hit differently. For one thing, I thought it would be the last Star Wars movie ever. For another, I had no idea that it was heavily inspired by the then-current Bush administration's executive overreach and crackdown on civil liberties. Darth Vader literally paraphrases Bush at one point, and morons still think the Sith are Democrats and complain about Mark Hamill "turning to the dark side" when he speaks out against fascism. And now we have another Republican president who simultaneously builds on Bush's legacy and makes him look a lot better. We are in one of the darkest periods of American history. I would consider it second only to the Civil War. But this movie franchise reminds us that there's still hope. Rebellions are built on hope.

Though the orange taint is clearly a net negative for the world, there are silver linings. His phenomenal unpopularity has sunk the right-wing parties in Canada and Australia, which were poised to win their respective elections by substantial margins before he decided to piss everyone off for no reason. You're welcome.

Being surrounded by people with the critical thinking skills of sea cucumbers has baffled me almost as much as it's sapped my will to live. This video shed some light on that phenomenon for me. My only gripe is that he tried too hard to make this politically neutral, saying, "And here's the thing, it's bipartisan. Both sides of the aisle have their own brands of boneheadedness. One side thinks we can shoot hurricanes and the other thinks banning plastic straws will save the whales even though they just flew into the rally in a private jet." The average left-winger doesn't have a private jet, but the average right-winger believes climate change is a hoax and consistently supports policies that harm the environment. Yes, left-wingers can also be idiots, but the dumbing down of the United States is central to the right-wing agenda. Left-wingers don't call educated people "elitists," don't complain about fact-checking, don't want to defund the Department of Education or make student loans unaffordable, and, most significantly, have nothing close to an equivalent of Donald Trump or his cult. It's not a coincidence that educated people overwhelmingly lean left, and it's not because their Marxist professors brainwashed them either. Other than glossing over that reality, this is a good video.

​This week has been a long year. I got high instead of watching the orange taint's inauguration, and then I got high the next day for good measure, and it was all downhill from there. The only part of the inauguration I've seen is the clip of President Musk giving two very obvious Nazi salutes. I'm old enough to remember when presidential inaugurations didn't include Nazi salutes. Anyone who says they weren't Nazi salutes knows they're lying. Anyone who says he didn't know better knows they're lying. I'm on the spectrum too, and I haven't given a Nazi salute since high school. The context was that I said "Guten Tag" to my Spanish teacher as a joke, and my hand just went up by itself, probably because I'd watched Indiana Jones too many times. I didn't realize it until she gasped in horror, but she hadn't even noticed the salute; she just thought I'd said a bad word.

I don't have the energy to recap everything the orange taint did this week to ruin people's lives, and if I make a habit of doing that, I'll never have time to write about anything else. My exhaustion is by design, of course. His blitzkrieg of executive orders was intended to overwhelm and demoralize people so they won't resist his administration. Many if not most of them will face legal action, which will slow them down for months or years and stop some of them altogether. Even the Supreme Court, with all its derangement and corruption, isn't guaranteed to rule in his favor every time because two of the conservative justices aren't complete pieces of shit. His absurd attempt to overrule the 14th Amendment with an executive order has already been halted. But legal processes take time, and he's trying to weaken the resistance up front. We just have to grit our teeth, remain optimistic, and keep resisting. It's inevitable that innocent people will suffer for the foreseeable future, and I won't downplay that, but things aren't hopeless in the long term.

I do want to highlight one egregiously stupid executive order from the Republicunt party's leg-humping obsession with making transgender people's lives miserable, though. It says that "'Female' means a person belonging, at conception, to the sex that produces the large reproductive cell," while "'Male' means a person belonging, at conception, to the sex that produces the small reproductive cell." So there you have it. Republicunts are so goddamn stupid that they think zygotes produce reproductive cells (and have more rights than actual people, but that's another story). This is yet another reason why I don't accept lectures on "basic biology" from people who believe our species descended from a man made out of dust who boinked a woman made from his own rib six thousand years ago. Some people suspect this text was written by AI, but the chatbots I work with for a living rarely make such stupid mistakes.

I said last week that religions shouldn't be politically neutral but rather should stand up for human rights and social justice. We saw a great example of that in Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, who triggered the orange taint and countless other sociopaths this week by asking him to be nice to people. Let me be clear: if you found anything objectionable in her remarks, you are a piece of shit, and you would have been first in line to crucify Jesus. The stunning lack of self-awareness in people who call themselves Christians yet base their entire worldview on being assholes isn't funny anymore.

Here's a former Capitol police officer reacting to the orange taint pardoning the insurrectionists who assaulted him. I've said many harsh things about cops, and I apologize for none of them, but I've never supported assaulting cops who aren't doing anything wrong - or trying to overthrow the government because your candidate lost. Republicunts are rewriting history before our very eyes. Since January 7, 2021, they've been telling us that we didn't see what we saw on January 6. Kind of like they're doing now with President Musk's Nazi salutes.

Here's a fun and educational podcast interview between Jon Stewart and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I feel more hope for the future knowing that Jon is still doing his show and AOC is still in Congress. I wouldn't complain if they both ended up in the White House.

Here's a text my aunt sent me.

I could be much happier for the foreseeable future if I, like most of my family members, stopped caring about the people around me. I would still suffer a lot from the orange taint's policies, but I wouldn't feel pain for the marginalized groups he's deliberately targeting. But my principles are more important to me than happiness. This is my blog and I can virtue signal if I want, dang it. I've become closer with my aunt because I relate to her a lot more than most of my family. I certainly didn't learn this empathy from my parents. They taught me to be nice to people, of course, but they've spent my entire life demonstrating that they're incapable of empathy for anything they've never personally experienced. They couldn't comprehend that my brain worked differently than theirs, even after mental health professionals told them, so they responded aggressively and callously to my "negative attitude." My dad empathized with my inability to swim due to my low body fat because he had the same issue, but he never had chronic insomnia, so no matter how many times I explained that I did, he would judge me for not getting out of bed before 8:30. At the beginning of the orange taint's first term he mocked an NPR interview he heard with people who were afraid. My mom mocked me for having to talk to a suicide hotline after this last election night. And my parents don't even like him as a person, but they think they deserve gold stars for acknowledging that he's a piece of shit (my words) and then voting for him anyway. His overt bigotry and discrimination aren't dealbreakers for them because they aren't the targets. They would have voted for Hitler if he ran as a Republican and promised to secure the border (which, incidentally, has next to zero effect on their lives in the Midwest). They aren't hurting right now like I am, and of course they'll just see my current pain as another symptom of my "negative attitude." This is my blog and I can rant if I want, dang it.

On a happier note, "Star Wars: Skeleton Crew" is a fun show. It's about a group of kids who have an adventure with space pirates. Watch it before the anti-DEI fuckwits ban it for having a Black lead character.