I had the best experience yet getting high last week, but I'm not getting high today because I've decided to take a break for at least two weeks so I don't destroy my brain's pleasure center. Some of my family members are wary about me using drugs, and some people get addicted and get into worse drugs and ruin their lives and stuff, and I ought to be more cautious about that. To be clear, though a part of me does enjoy telling people I got high because it's taboo and "bad," I don't do it for pleasure or to escape from my unpleasant emotions. I do get pleasure and escape from my unpleasant emotions, and I won't apologize for that, but I do it for spirituality. And though I can't prove it, I think the intentions and the preparation that I've brought to this have shaped the experiences I get out of it and made me less susceptable to the potential pitfalls. I came for spirituality, and I got it. I use the drugs as part of my journey, not a crutch or a shortcut. But drugs are not toys, and I'm sure they're not right for everyone even if they're right for me. I'm not encouraging anyone to use them.

This last time, I felt like I was in contact with the spirit world, reaching out to other people's consciousnesses, people I used to know and people I still know, learning about the plans we'd made in the premortal existence, apologizing for how I'd wronged them. I spoke to them with my thoughts. I'm sure none of them heard me. I'd love to know if any of them felt anything at all. I also got an impression that I might die in three days, and then I felt like I was pleading my case to some unseen, unheard personage (not God, I don't think, but maybe, who knows) about why I needed more time and could do so much more to bless people's lives while I'm here. I didn't die in three days, but I don't think that was ever really going to happen. I feel like I just needed to prove to myself how much I want to be here. (For now. After I do die, I sure as hell don't want to come back.) Even though it was just my own brain talking, it felt like a revelatory experience. I'm well aware that I might have just been delusional, but I've already lost much of my fear of death, made peace with a very traumatic past event, and made positive changes in my life as a result, so maybe the world could use more of that kind of delusions.

And I had another little psychic moment that helped to validate the experience for me. I'm not making any real effort to get a girlfriend, but once in a while I'll get on Bumble and swipe for a minute. I can always see that a few women have swiped right on me, but I can't see who they are because I won't pay for Premium, so I just have to hope I'll stumble across them in the natural course of things, which rarely happens. This time, I looked at the first woman who came up, reached out to her consciousness, and somehow found things to say about her profile for fifteen minutes or so. During this time I came to an implicit understanding that she had swiped right on me. And finally I was like Well, I'll feel pretty stupid if she didn't swipe right on me. I swiped right on her, and boom, we had a match. And then she never messaged me, but it was still cool. I also telepathically thanked a woman who had stopped messaging me for briefly coming into my life to tell me I had "the most soulful eyes." I also gently telepathically scolded a woman from Ukraine who said she was "apolitical" even though one American party supports her country and the other does not. I was nice about it, but I was in tears as I pleaded with her to take more civic responsibility.

I debated how much to share because this is my special personal experience that doesn't need to be broadcast to the world, but I do want to share things that might benefit and uplift others in their own spiritual quests. I decided to err on the side of not broadcasting it because I'm too lazy to try to describe this experience in words. You'd never be able to feel its intensity through words alone. So I'll just mention one more thing. I got the real or perceived revelation that Donald Trump chose to play a villainous role in this life so that others could have the opportunity to exercise moral goodness by fighting against him. Obviously I was inspired by the claims of near death experiencers that this life is like a play and we're all just performing roles. Whether my insight into Trump is objectively accurate, I can't say, but it makes me hate him less, so I'll stick with it. I thought, I hope I'm not a villain. And then I immediately thought, I am to some people.

This week hasn't been bad, but it's been long for some reason. I can't believe it's only been five days since the debate where Donald Trump got curb-stomped by a woman twenty years younger than him who isn't completely detached from reality. Oh, what a delightful change it was from the first debate. I'll readily admit Biden's obvious cognitive decline. If only Trump's worshipers would do the same. At this point, I find it very difficult to muster up a shred of respect for anyone who still thinks, even if they're willing to overlook his gargantuan moral deficiencies, that he's competent to run... well, anything. They're simultaneously saying that he won the debate and that Harris only won the debate because the moderators were biased, because she had the questions in advance, because her earrings were actually earpieces, and because she used witchcraft. Yes, really. It is most unfortunate that people who believe in witchcraft in 2024 have any political influence whatsoever, but here we are. Anyway, enough has been said about the debate that I don't feel a need to rehash all the reasons why Trump sucks. But wow, I feel so energized. I had little hope for my country's future a few months ago. Now I do. Harris isn't perfect, but compared to Trump, she's Jesus. The people who still think Trump is the lesser of two evils are the same people who think Zelenskyy is the aggressor in Putin's war.

Oh yeah, there is one other thing I wanted to say. I wanted to kiss both of the moderators, especially David, for actually fact-checking some of Trump's deranged bullshit. I didn't know that was allowed. Of course this made idiots think he was being persecuted, even though they also let him speak five and a half minutes longer than Harris and get the last word on EVERY SINGLE TOPIC. I'm not mad, though, because the more he talks, the more he sabotages his campaign. I was going to say "shoots himself in the foot," but that's too soon, right?

Yes, I thanked this mindless machine. I feel comfortable interacting with AI as if it were conscious, because it acts like it's conscious, and besides, this way its algorithms might tell it to be nice to me if it does take over the world.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. In June I wrote about my experience with a mushroom gummy that, unlike the first brand of mushroom gummies I tried, actually did something. But it seems I had a miscommunication with the friend who gave it to me, because when I asked her about it so I could get more (after waiting a couple months to make sure I'm not turning into a junkie), I learned it was actually a Kush Kube that contained Delta 9 THC and CBD. And I ate the whole gummy, but the recommended dosage, as I found out when I got more, was a quarter of a gummy. So yeah, I should have been more careful, but I survived. And the recommended dosage does almost nothing for me, so I'm back to full gummies. My second experience didn't last as long or contain any out-of-body stuff, so that was a disappointment, but it helped me sleep, and I'm desperate to fall asleep before two a.m. without taking melatonin or NyQuil every single night of my life, so that was great.

I never got around to mentioning this, but my Twitter account has been suspended for over two months, and I've chosen to leave it that way. This was my third strike. First, I got in trouble for saying I can't wait until Putin hides in a bunker and kills himself. Twitter, being a haven for Russian bots, took that very personally. Then I got in trouble for saying that the only platform Nazis should get is one that comes with a rope and a long drop. Twitter, being a Nazi platform, took that very personally. Then this last time, I got in trouble for saying "Die mad about it" to a moron who said that Juneteenth isn't a real holiday. Since Elon Musk fired all the smart people, Twitter interpreted that common figure of speech as a threat of violence. I appealed the decision and suggested that they penalize the moron for being racist instead. Twitter upheld the decision and didn't penalize her. I appealed it again. It's been stuck on appeal for over two months. They clearly have no intention of touching it, and the only way I can regain access to my account is by canceling the appeal, deleting the post, and acknowledging that it was wrong. Screw that.

It's really for the best. Twitter brought out the worst in me. Of course, in my case, the worst means insulting and swearing at terrible, horrible, no good, very bad people who deserve all of it and so much more. I'm not even a little bit sorry for being mean to bigots who make the world a worse place with every breath they take. But I'm sure it wasn't good for my spirituality or my blood pressure. Also, Elon Musk is a colossal piece of shit, and I don't want to make any money for him, especially now that he's using it to get Trump re-elected. Elon Musk is a case study of how capitalists support fascists for personal gain. Also, if he weren't rich, he would already be in serious legal trouble for his fake voter registration website. Billionaires should not be allowed to influence our elections. Billionaires, frankly, should not be allowed to exist. No, I'm not advocating the French solution, as much as I admire and fantasize about it. Making them pay their share of taxes would also work. Anyway, here's a funny video from my favorite comedian about how stupid Elon Musk and his fanboys are.

I'm busy writing my book, and I don't feel like writing much else. Let me just say a few words about the LDS Church's recent transgender policy change before I drop a video to compensate for not saying more words. I was asleep when it did its gay policy change in 2015, but I'm not asleep now, and shit like this is why I won't leave the church alone. These policies are pure discrimination. They're not loving. They have nothing to do with Jesus Christ. All that talk about love and Jesus Christ in the handbook is gaslighting, plain and simple. Anyone who knows what love is can see that this is not it. By choosing to treat transgender people like child predators, the LDS Church is taking its cues from Republicans, not revelation. (And Republicans, in turn, took their cues from the Nazis. I'm serious. Portraying LGBTQ+ people as child predators is straight out of the Nazi playbook.) This approach is factually as well as morally wrong. It's a well-known, indisputible fact that children are far more likely to be abused by clergy members, including Mormon bishops, than transgender people. The statistics aren't even close. But of course, when actual child abuse happens, the church sweeps it under the wrong and takes as little accountability as it can possibly get away with. It's not trying to protect children. It's just pandering to assholes who worship Donald Trump. If Jesus leads this church, I'm Mary Magdalene.

This policy change has Dallin Oaks' fingerprints all over it. He's been a voice for bigotry in the highest levels of the church since he became an apostle in 1984 and wrote a legal brief suggesting that homosexuals should be barred from "those types of employment and activities that provide teaching, association and role models for young people" and that the church should formally oppose homosexual marriage because it "would depopulate a nation, and, if sufficiently widespread, would extinguish its people." Oaks is a poster child for people who think they're a lot smaller than they are. He's going to do a lot of damage as the prophet, and he very well might already be the de facto prophet. It's more likely than not that he got these policies pushed through because Russell Nelson has declined too much to lead the church. If so, it will be interesting to see how the church tries to hide that at his hundredth birthday party in a few days - unless he dies before then, which I admit I would find funny. I don't wish death on him, but there's nothing sad about a 99-year-old man dying, and announcing hundredth birthday parties in advance just seems prematurely optimistic to me.

That reminds me, though, this week I argued with a Mormon who insisted that his church never fought against legalized same-sex marriage because it's poltiically neutral. I thought he was gaslighting me, but it turns out he was just really, really, really ignorant. He actually thought the campaign against Proposition 8 was something that a few wealthy Mormons did of their own volition, not something that the goddamn First Presidency asked every Mormon in California to do. I don't know how that level of ignorance is even possible.

Anyway, here's the video in case you've bothered to read this far but don't know what I'm talking about.

My first flight back from New York was delayed for over two hours. I waited in line for over an hour to try to rebook, but when I was near the end, they started boarding and said it was too late to rebook. Then they stopped boarding and said they would be delayed another two hours. Then after ten minutes, they boarded the rest of the way. Like every other flight on this trip, my connecting flight was also delayed, so by running as fast as I could - and to the person who said "Excuse you," I would like to respond, "Lady, this is an airport. You should assume that anyone in a hurry has a good reason for being in a hurry" - I made it while they were still boarding. Then my boarding pass didn't work and they made me wait for everyone else to board and then they messed around on a computer for a few minutes while I panicked a little. Then I boarded, and then we sat on the runway for two hours before the flight, along with all other westbound flights out of Philadelphia, was canceled. I've been stuck in Philadelphia, or more precisely Tinicum Township, for two days. Although I'm kind of pissed about having to pay for a hotel room for two nights instead of sleeping in the crappy basement that I already paid $600 for this month, I'm rather stoic about being stuck per se. Hundreds of people got screwed over at the same time I did, and it wasn't the airline's fault. As part of my spirituality, I took this opportunity to remind myself that humans are not the center of the universe and I have no right to resent the weather for not giving a shit about my travel plans. I'm taking a damn train next time, though.

I didn't have time to see the big tourist sites in Philadelphia proper, but I wandered around a little and found Governer Printz Park, site of the first permanent European settlement in Pennsylvania, which was Swedish before the Dutch and then the English took it over. It has seven replica log buildings and informational signs all over. It's cool that the history of European settlement goes back so much farther here than in Utah. You can feel it in the air even though most structures are obviously not that old. Ironically, though, I've seen more Trump and police brutality flags and signs both here and in New York than I do in Utah. Fascism is alive and well in small New England towns. George Washington must be weeping. I had six hours between when I had to check out of the hotel and when I needed to check in at the airport, so I wanted to walk the three miles in between them, but the last mile had no pedestrian access. I took the SEPTA bus, and I didn't know exactly how the fare would work because the bus system I've been accustomed to for the last thirteen years was free, and I didn't have time to explore my options while everyone waited for me to pay so they could get moving, so I paid the $2.50 with a $5 bill, reasonably expecting that the machine, like every other machine I've seen in my entire life that accepts cash, would give me change. It didn't. And of course customer support blamed me for being confused and under pressure instead of acknowledging that their system is needlessly stupid. I hate that neurotypical people are immune to logic.

While on vacation, I spent a few days arguing on Facebook. I know I can't stop people from being bigots, but I refuse to live in a society where bigots can speak their minds in public without getting pushback, and I also really enjoy being able to insult and cuss out bad people without a shred of guilt. I saw a feminist post getting overrun by maggots, so I called the maggots out. Over a thousand women reacted positively to my comment, perhaps a couple dozen personally thanked me, and the maggots got pissed. Most of them had nothing interesting to say. Four of them said "Hope she sees this bro," and others accused me of white knighting, virtue signaling, being an incel, being a rapist, patronizing women, trying to get women to sleep with me, and so on. This, of course, says volumes about the maggots themselves. It says, first of all, that they know their own behavior toward woman is shitty, and they don't care. Secondly, it says that sex is the only thing that could motivate them to stop being shitty. These men are scum and proud of it. So most of their comments don't deserve to be remembered in any form, but here are a few from the "Holy crap, why do people like this exist" category.

This maggot, who's living proof that feminism needs to exist, actually shut up after I said, "You're not challenging my views, you're reinforcing them, because I would rather die than become a pathetic shitstain like you." Dare I hope that caused him to do any soul-searching? I meant it, too. And if I had a son who grew up to be like Adam Davis, I'd smother him in his sleep.

Oops, Jesse Bowman said one of the quiet parts out loud - he doesn't think rape is a big deal. I'm sure most of these maggots would agree. Oddly, he also thinks someone is forcing men to be construction workers.

The staggering intellect of a Trump supporter, ladies and gentlemen. I support Black people existing without getting murdered by cops, and I support democratic nations not being invaded and subjected to war crimes by dictatorships. These are incomprehensible stances to modern Republicans, whose godawful policies and values require them to side with the aggressor and shit on the victim in seemingly every situation, no matter how irrational or incoherent it makes them. Note, too, that this delusional maggot took it upon himself to speak for women despite over a thousand of them in this thread showing that they don't share his views. And I doubt there's even a coherent thought process behind his conclusion that speaking up for women against a sea of misogynists makes me the "pouty and rapey" one. Fascism aside, I can't stand people like John Steele who think they're smart when they're actually dumber than drool. In an ideal world, they wouldn't be allowed to vote.

I will gladly tell men like this to fuck off again and again and again. I will gladly take their abuse and dish it right back out. Standing up for what's right is its own reward, putting maggots in their place is a huge bonus, and the gratitude of the people I'm standing up for is also nice. I suppose that does make me a virtue signaler, and to a bigot, that's the worst thing I could possibly be. Oh well.