25 used to seem like an adult age. Years ago I made one protagonist in my novel 25 and the other 26 because those seemed like respectable adult ages. Now I understand that adulthood doesn't start until 30. And then, assuming you live a respectably long life without any serious accidents, you get about five years of being in your prime before your body starts deteriorating over the next several decades. If you live to be ninety you spend the vast majority of your life in decline. That's really messed up. If I were in charge, you would stay "young" until you were about seventy and only start deteriorating then. That seems like a far more reasonable ratio to me. Anyway, that's why I have no particular desire to live past my early forties, and considering my eating habits and the unconscionable amount of stress my heart has been through, I probably won't. But today I'm still alive and I'm 25.
I don't mean to be dark, I just have no fear of death and think of my mortality all the time, especially as every year goes by faster than the previous one. I obsess over the passage of time almost every day. I'm in a permanent state of midlife crisis, except it's not usually a crisis so much as it just blows my mind every time I think about it. Although most of my goals remain out of reach I'm happy with where I'm at right now and patient enough to wait for the rest if it ever comes, and I could blather on about that and be pretentious but I don't feel like it. Happy birthday to me. I mean, it's over now, but it was happy.
Real Fake News from This Week
Trump Calls for American Domination of Space with Creation of a "Space Force" Military Branch; Martians and Venusians Panic
Trump Signs Executive Order Ending Forced Separation of Undocumented Families; Thousands of His Supporters Continue Posting on Social Media that They Think Forced Separation of Undocumented Families is Okay
White Americans who Gained US Citizenship by Being Born Self-Righteously Assert that Undocumented Immigrants Should Gain US Citizenship "the Right Way" by Enduring Who Knows How Many Years of Red Tape Before They Can Seek Better Lives for Their Families (This one is a little wordy. Try to condense it a bit. - ed.)
Canada Becomes Second Nation in the World to Legalize Recreational Marijuana; Winnipeg Native Tal Bachmann Celebrates by Re-recording His One-Hit Wonder "She's So High" with New Lyrics
"The Legend of Zelda Encyclopedia" Published in English; Local Blogger and Legend of Zelda Fan Experiences Strange Combination of Covetousness and Lust
The Best Birthday Song Ever
Yes, even better than Weird Al's. Forgive me for saying that, Weird Al.
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C. Randall Nicholson
This is where I occasionally rant about life, the universe, and/or everything. I'm a white cisgender male and a Latter-day Saint, so you can hate me without guilt, but I'm also autistic, so you can't. Unless you're an anti-vaxxer, in which case the feeling is mutual.