My Birthday

Originally shared by Scott E. Hall

25 used to seem like an adult age. Years ago I made one protagonist in my novel 25 and the other 26 because those seemed like respectable adult ages. Now I understand that adulthood doesn't start until 30. And then, assuming you live a respectably long life without any serious accidents, you get about five years of being in your prime before your body starts deteriorating over the next several decades. If you live to be ninety you spend the vast majority of your life in decline. That's really messed up. If I were in charge, you would stay "young" until you were about seventy and only start deteriorating then. That seems like a far more reasonable ratio to me. Anyway, that's why I have no particular desire to live past my early forties, and considering my eating habits and the unconscionable amount of stress my heart has been through, I probably won't. But today I'm still alive and I'm 25.

​I don't mean to be dark, I just have no fear of death and think of my mortality all the time, especially as every year goes by faster than the previous one. I obsess over the passage of time almost every day. I'm in a permanent state of midlife crisis, except it's not usually a crisis so much as it just blows my mind every time I think about it. Although most of my goals remain out of reach I'm happy with where I'm at right now and patient enough to wait for the rest if it ever comes, and I could blather on about that and be pretentious but I don't feel like it. Happy birthday to me. I mean, it's over now, but it was happy.

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The Best Birthday Song Ever

Yes, even better than Weird Al's. Forgive me for saying that, Weird Al.