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This is an op-ed I recently sent to the Salt Lake Tribune, which I'm publishing here and now because, predictably enough, they didn't. In January 2025, in response to the re-election of the most xenophobic American president in a century, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued another brief, unsigned statement reiterating its nuanced stance on immigration. “We follow Jesus Christ by loving our neighbors,” it said. “The Savior taught that the meaning of ‘neighbor’ includes all of God’s children.” Around that same time, in one of my Signal chats, I also suggested protesting the church's silence at General Conference. I hoped someone more experienced would run with the idea so I didn't have to do the work, but I was willing to do the work if I had to. It got some interest, but not enough to encourage me to persist after someone brushed it aside to talk about the NIck Shirley protest at the Draper aquarium instead. I kid you not, a couple of weeks later, the same guy suggested the same idea. I'm not mad. Whatever it takes is fine by me. Then some women took over the planning, made it into a protest against the church's sex abuse cover-ups, and said that the men were welcome to participate but the focus needed to remain on them. I felt that this topic would be less timely and effective than one tied into the current national political situation, but of course I still supported it. I encouraged everyone to keep it respectful, not because the church deserves respect but because triggering its members' persecution complex would be counterproductive. We were all on board with that. The other guy still backed out after he became too concerned about alienating his Mormon parents. I didn't worry about that because my Mormon parents alienated me years ago. By most measures, frankly, the protest was a flop. We ran out of time to make signs beforehand. Some people showed up to the rendezvous point late, so the Mormons attending conference were inside by the time we reached Temple Square. We just walked up to the Capitol in Handmaid's Tale robes with no signs. It wasn't originally part of the plan for me to wear one, but we had an extra after a woman had to back out, and walking to the Capitol in it was much less embarrassing than walking to the rendezvous point in a suit on conference day and making people think I was Mormon. Waiting for the bathroom in the gift shop was a little weird, but I survived. So anyway, I don't think we accomplished much, but people took notice of us and I had a great time with my friends, and that's important too. I also made a new friend while i was waiting at the rendezvous point for the late people. Some nice random woman sat by me, complimented my suit, chatted about her life, and showed me things from her backpack - a very interesting poem, her favorite book (which used to be an overdue library book), and two pictures (one on each side of the paper) that she let me keep. I love people like her who are kind and intelligent but just don't understand that it's weird to discuss random things with strangers. She may have been homeless, but she said her boyfriend designed video games, so hopefully that keeps them afloat, unless she made that up, which she might have because I couldn't find the game she told me about - Ring Quest, a game about a cat who's searching for a wedding ring and knows that he's in a video game. I couldn't find her zine, "Jewish Cocaine," either, but that might plausibly just not be on the internet. Bummer. At least I have these cool pictures. Oh yes, and after our protest, a woman with no shoes approached us in the parking lot, sobbing, breathing hard, and telling us that she'd been framed for murder and every cop in the city was looking for her. She wanted to go to her uncle's house so he could say she'd been there the whole time. We took her to the general area she said her uncle lived in so she could go sleep off whatever she was on. So once again, this was a very worthwhile experience.
Oh yes, I suppose today is Easter. Naturally, after another protest today against the Supreme Court legalizing verbal conversion "therapy" because First Amendment rights somehow trump professional standards of conduct, I'll celebrate in my usual manner by getting high at home by myself. Respectfully, THC has blessed my life more than Jesus ever did.
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- Amelia Whitlock "I don't know how well you know Christopher Randall Nicholson, but... he's trolling. You should read his blog. It's delightful." - David Young About the AuthorC. Randall Nicholson is a white cisgender Christian male, so you can hate him without guilt, but he's also autistic and asexual, so you can't, unless you're an anti-vaxxer, in which case the feeling is mutual. This blog is where he periodically rants about life, the universe, and/or everything. Archives
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