The Guy on the Train

I got a new roommate two weeks ago, and he got to work right away using my shampoo and silverware without asking, shedding his little curly hairs on every surface in the bathroom, and waking me up with his bedroom door every morning. (The hairs are from his head, I'm pretty sure, but them being little and curly is how I know they're not mine.) Hence I felt like shit a few mornings ago when I watched this video because watching videos was all I had the capacity to do. The host explores why the incredible future we anticipated for decades didn't happen, and in brief, the conclusion he comes to is because humans suck. 

He tries to balance it out by ending with some positivity, though, and he gives us this thought experiment: "Imagine you're old and gray chilling on your deathbed when a genie appears and grants you a wish. Before you die, the genie lets you relive one day of your life. And for some reason, you picked this very day. The one you are living right now. I mean, right now, look around you and try to figure out why. So, despite all of the zooming out that we've done for however long this video is running for now, if you only take one thing from this video, let it be zooming in. Let it be the question, why did you pick today?"

My eyes were almost in physical pain from sleep deprivation, so I thought it would benefit me to take this question seriously. I was in a camping chair in the backyard with my laptop, and I looked around and tried to find enough beauty in the grass and the trees to convince myself that today didn't suck. I was unsuccessful. I was like, Cool, a dragonfly. I still feel like shit. And then I forgot about it and moved on with my day.

That evening, I went to the weekly pro-Palestine protest at the federal building where I almost got shot in June thanks to my dad's precious second amendment, and then I went to the mall for dinner, and then as I scrolled through Facebook I happened to notice that someone was giving a lecture at the planetarium about what the microbes discovered inside of mineral deposits at the Great Salt Lake could teach us about potential past or current life on Mars, so I went to that instead of going straight home. Shortly after the lecture ended, the planetarium closed, and they kicked me out just in time to watch the train leave. I only had to wait fifteen minutes for the next train, so although this was the most inconvenient timing possible under the circumstances, it wasn't a big deal. I chose not to get frustrated, and then I went a step further: I told myself that the universe's foreordained course of events needed me to be on the next train instead of this one, even though I'd probably never know why, so it was fine. This is the perspective I want to have toward all events, but it's much easier with small inconveniences than with, say, having an orange sack of diarrhea as president.

On the next train, some guy approached the guy across from me and appeared to ask him for something. I didn't hear it because I was listening to music, and I wanted to continue listening to music without interruption, so I avoided eye contact and hoped he wouldn't try to talk to me too. He then appeared to ask the guy in front of me for something, and at that point I realized he might really be in need, so I took my headphones off. I'm not a monster. He asked if he could use my phone to call his ride. He dialed a number that he somehow had memorized, but nobody answered. He tried another number that he somehow had memorized, but nobody answered. He tried the first number again. I suggested he try to text them, but my phone gave an error message. I had quickly shifted from appreciating that I was here for him to wondering what the point was if my help wasn't helping. He thanked me anyway and got off the train. At the next stop, he got back on the train, so either he had superhuman powers or he'd just switched cars. He asked if they had called back (no) and if he could try one more time. This time, somebody answered, and he said, "I'll be there in five minutes" and gave my phone back just in time for me to get off at my stop.

The universe's course of events had unfolded as it was supposed to. I had been put in the right place at the right time to help someone who needed something from me besides money, and it didn't seem like a big thing, but it was something, and it meant a lot to me. Then I remembered the question from the video. No, I still wouldn't choose to relive that day over any other day. I would choose the birthday when I saw Weird Al in concert and then met him. On the other hand, if I could actually change the past in this hypothetical exercise, I would go back to the worst day of my life and tell then-Officer Hayden Nelson of the Logan City Police Department to get a warrant or eat my ass. Anyway, it was a tolerable day in the end, and if there's a lesson in that, you're welcome.