Paradise with Mary

Mary frequently doesn't respond to my texts for days or weeks. I keep at it, and then one day she responds immediately. Then once in a while, I get her to call me, and we talk for two to seven hours. Last weekend, after a couple of unresponsive weeks, she became rather chatty, albeit with rather random responses.

On Sunday evening, we talked on the phone and watched the second episode of a show called Paradise that she's obsessed with. The last time we talked on the phone, she asked me to watch the first episode with her, and I said I wanted to watch all the episodes with her as a clever way of getting her to talk to me more often. She said maybe I wasn't really tricking her because that's what she wanted. So there were only two weeks between these phone calls, which is a record.

This time, I was high. I've texted people I trust while I was high, including Mary, but I've never talked on the phone. Mary's voice sounded softer than ever and like it was right inside my ear. Most of the episode proceeded uneventfully, but there was a part where a woman picked up a carton of ice cream at the store and asked her son, "Horse?" and he said, "Horse." I understood this to mean that the ice cream was horse-flavored, and I didn't question that. It's kind of a weird show. In the next shot, her son was riding the coin-operated horse ride outside the store. I laughed my ass off as I explained my misunderstanding to Mary, and she laughed at my laughter and asked why I don't laugh more often. I should have told her she needs to be funnier.

Then there was a part where a woman, I think the same one, told some guy that it was sexy when he did what she wanted. I boldly asked Mary if that was true and said that I could do what she wanted. She laughed. When the episode ended, I said it again and told her I needed to say it now before I got my inhibitions back. She said that because I probably wouldn't remember that conversation, she would be blunt, and of course I didn't like the sound of that, but all she said was that it was obvious (i.e. that I wanted to do what she wanted). "Within reason," she added before I got a chance.

"I trust you," I said, and that was so true. I've told her before that if I could, I would give her my soul and feel perfectly safe.

I kept her talking while she needed to go to bed, and she said she was going to do a Sudoku before bed and that made her a nerd and also a hypocrite for calling me and her sisters nerds. I said she needed to tell me what words I was allowed to call her so I didn't get in trouble. She said I can call her whatever words she calls me.

I said, "I like that you set the rules, and I have to obey them."

She said, "I know you do."

Perhaps this experience is just weird to anyone else, but it was beautiful and titillating and thrilling to me, and this is my blog, so of course I'm going to write about my life, not everyone else's. I used to be scared that she would feel misled about our friendship if I told her I loved her, and now I routinely test her boundaries and kiss her ass, and she doesn't hate it. I guess I'll keep at it until she gets a boyfriend or tells me to get lost, but I don't anticipate either of those things happening.

She hasn't responded to me about watching Paradise together this evening, though, so DuckTales alone it is.