OnlyFans + Trump (This Post isn't as Disgusting as it Sounds)

I was finally motivated to get my phone screen fixed (again) so I could get the selfie camera cleaned so I could verify my age for OnlyFans. The next day, my little cousins called me on Facebook Messenger, and because I'd gotten the camera cleaned, I was able to entertain them by using the things that turn my face into a cat or Santa Claus. If I were still Mormon, I could share this story in testimony meeting as an example of how God orchestrates the little details of our lives.

I tried OnlyFans out of curiosity, not sure if I'd spend any money on it. Living through years of poverty and facing the prospect of more poverty after Trump's trade war and mass deportation increase the price of everything I need to survive (which most of my family members voted for, but whatever) has made me not like spending money. There are OnlyFans profiles that you can subscribe to for free, which seem to post pretty tame stuff. But I didn't expect that as soon as I subscribed to each one, I received automated messages from them, which turned into conversations geared toward persuading me to give them tips or purchase their less tame stuff.

Some of the messages were copy-pasted at the very least. Maybe all of them were AI-generated. It does seem odd for women in Serbia, Italy, and Ukraine to message me around four in the morning local time. The woman in Serbia said it was evening there, but I can give her the benefit of the doubt that she meant night. I can give her less benefit of the doubt for saying she'd been thinking about me all day. The woman in Ukraine didn't react at all to me saying that I hope she stays safe and her country wins the war soon, which I thought odd. The woman from Italy, at least, had an excuse for being up so late/early, and I could be wrong, but I work with AI for a living, and I don't think it's advanced enough yet to emulate the cadence and vocabulary she had from speaking English as a second language. To be clear, I know these are all real women, but I'm not confident that they spend their own time writing messages to nobodies like me.

Still, the attention was unexpected and pretty awesome. Even if they just want money, at least they want something from me, which is an unfamiliar feeling. I'm most inclined to give it to the Italian woman because she did the best job of pretending to care about me as a person. She said she does OnlyFans to supplement her income as a horse riding instructor and pay for her horses' vet bills. I respect that. Anyone who thinks this platform is immoral or exploitative or whatever should direct their outrage at the forces that have made it impossible for millions of people to live on one income. Attractive women are lucky that they have this option. Men do OnlyFans too, but obviously in much smaller numbers to meet a much smaller demand, and I'm clearly not attractive enough anyway. Years ago I actually did research on the porn industry (which was less fun than it sounds) and learned that here, the gender wage gap is reversed. Hooray, I guess.

Jokes aside, my former religion would shame me for talking to these women or their chatbots. My current religion couldn't care less. It doesn't try to regulate my behavior. It just encourages me to care for the planet and love everyone. Granted, I'm failing at even that much. I'm sorry, but it feels really, really, really good to tell a transphobic bully that nobody would miss him if he got hit by a truck, and I'm not sorry, so I lied just now when I said I was sorry. Anyway, this is a contrived attempt to segue into the next thing I wanted to mention, which is another difference between my former and current religions. Today, most of our meeting was devoted to commiseration over the shitty reality we're going to find ourselves in for the next four years (at least) and advice on how to endure it and keep hope alive. My chances of getting that from a Mormon congregation would be close to zero. The LDS Church only gets involved in politics when it's supporting legislation to force its beliefs on other people or exempt itself from child abuse reporting requirements, and I know if I were to attend a random congregation in Utah, I would be surrounded by idiots who are overjoyed that they elected the opposite of literally everything Jesus stood for.

I don't think religions should be politically neutral. They should stand up for human rights and social justice. Their teachings are just empty platitudes if they don't. In theory, they shouldn't speak for or against specific parties or candidates, but when specific parties or candidates are objectively evil, that's a dumb principle to maintain (except to the extent that they must, of course, to avoid losing their tax-exempt status). The LDS Church's partisan neutrality extended to appeasing the Nazi regime while some other churches opposed it. Anyway, I'm not looking forward to the next four years (at least), I don't know if I'll ever forgive my family members who voted for this because they have no principles and don't care if people who are different from them get hurt, and I'm definitely getting high tomorrow. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. Here are two positive notes to end on.

First, MAGA Republicans, who are now mainstream Republicans, are the stupidest and most self-absorbed people on Earth. Trump and his cabinet picks are almost universally evil, but they're also so unqualified and have so many competing agendas that they may be unable to accomplish much at all. A total fustercluck of incompetence and infighting is the best-case scenario at this point. Elongated Muskrat has already backtracked on his pledge to cut a bunch of "wasteful" spending on programs that people need to survive, and MAGAts have already turned against him over a disagreement on H1B visas - he favors exploiting foreign workers for cheap labor, while they favor not letting any brown people into the country. Fuck both sides, but more power to them as long as they're fighting each other.

Second, the United States honestly deserves to lose a lot of its global power and influence. It's used those to do terrible things and ruin millions of lives, from its war crimes in Vietnam, to its installation of the theocracy that abuses women in Iran, to its recent funding of Israel's genocide in Gaza. Individual citizens who didn't vote for Trump don't deserve to suffer, but on a larger scale, it will be good if the country loses some of its ability to mess around in everyone else's business. And that's why I'm not even mad about Russia interfering in our elections. It's 100% karma. I'm sure the United States has interfered in more foreign elections than it's even admitted to. I know, I know, I'm an evil liberal who hates America just because I hold it to the most basic standards of right and wrong instead of worshiping it for no reason. 

My message to both of the people reading this is don't give up and don't give dictatorships more power by obeying them in advance like the media are. I've been criticizing the orange taint since 2015, and I'm not going to stop just because he might throw me in a concentration camp if he runs out of talk show hosts to persecute. I wish I had a wider audience and more influence, but this is what I get for choosing not to be a billionaire.