Homeless People + Missionaries

I almost feel like I should be grateful to this fascist regime because protesting against it has given me a purpose and brought me together with a community of beautiful humans. I moved to the Salt Lake area to be closer to friends I already had, but now I never see them, and I see new ones almost every week instead. Whatever works, eh? Recently, though, we've branched off from protesting into doing monthly clothing and food drives. I can't take any credit for the idea or the logistics, but I contribute a little, and I show up and help run them. We did our second one today. It was already much bigger than the first, and quite a beautiful experience. I was less self-conscious and more proactive in talking to the people who showed up instead of waiting for a real adult to do it.

Any appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, I've always tried to be a good, generous, and loving person. I have given to homeless people, but I can't afford to give to all of them I see, so I usually avoid eye contact because making eye contact and not giving them anything seems like a slap in the face, but I know treating them like they don't exist is also a slap in the face, so that eats me up inside. Anyway, I just wanted to say that being good, generous, and compassionate is not some radical new concept for me, but today was still a profound, transformative experience. I talked a lot to this one homeless woman who stuck around for a while. She clearly had some mental illness, and I didn't understand half of what she said, but she was still really fun to talk to. She radiated such goodness that despite her weathered face and missing teeth, I could honestly say she was beautiful to me. I felt so good to know that I helped to improve her life and the lives of others today.

I wish we could do more, of course. I wish we could give them all homes. It is extremely fucked up that we as a society have normalized letting mentally ill people become homeless and then treating them like parasites. If my own mental illness were a bit more severe, or if I hadn't been blessed to know the right people who have helped me out over the years, I could have shared their fate. I still might someday. I can't even imagine having the fortitude to live like that without killing myself. I hope society will someday provide everyone with what they need, and maybe the backlash against this fascist regime is what we need to move us in that direction. These clothing and food drives are a chance for us to show what we're for, not just what we're against, and maybe we can keep growing them bigger and drawing in more people and doing more things until we've created heaven on Earth. I doubt that will happen in my lifetime, but I can be part of the push in that direction. I try to remember that my life not just as an end in itself, but also part of history that will affect future lives for better and for worse.

In unrelated news, the LDS missionaries in the Ogden Mission sent me an inspirational message last night even though I removed my records from the church in 2022 and moved out of those mission boundaries in 2024. I assume they found my number written down by the missionaries I briefly talked to before I moved. Actually, I was thinking about the ones I ran into in a parking lot and accepted a Book of Mormon from, but when I went to link to a post about it, I remembered that the post was actually about another occasion when I let a different companionship visit my apartment. I'm nice, okay? So anyway, this is the sort of thing that would piss off most ex-Mormons, but I'm cool with it. However they got my number, I trust that the missionaries acted out of love and a desire to enrich my life, and I appreciate that. I did feel enriched. As I've said before, I want everyone to be nice to the LDS missionaries, who for the most part are good kids sacrificing eighteen months or two years of their life to do what they believe is right. They're not to blame for everything that's wrong with the LDS Church. I hope these missionaries didn't text another ex-Mormon who was mean to them.