Apparently Boundaries Only Go One Way

My writer's block has been temporarily cured by the kind of social media drama that I should have outgrown by now. I'm not paritcularly proud of this exchange, but in case someone is out there with screenshots trying to ruin my life, I'm going to set down my side of the story for posterity.

Last year, after the first "assassination attempt" on the orange taint, where God saved him by deflecting the bullet into one of his supporters and miraculously healed his ear, I got into a minor argument on Facebook with another ex-Mormon leftist and one of her followers who insisted that wishing death on a bad person who intends to cause harm to millions of people is wrong. I didn't and don't accept their unsubtantiated claim that every human life has infinite value under all circumstances. For context, this woman is nobody you've heard of, but she is a public figure with a podcast, not some random person I was harassing. A few days ago, she posted something to the effect of, "What song is on your playlist for when it happens?" In case you're new to the internet, everyone knows that "it" is the orange taint's eagerly anticipated and long overdue death. So, you know, I couldn't resist asking, "Didn't you try to shame me last year for being disappointed that the 'assassination attempt' on him failed?"

​Her reaction:

If she had merely blocked me, I wouldn't have realized it for years, if ever, and certainly wouldn't have bothered responding in kind to her pettiness, but it really rubbed me the wrong way that she messaged me in private, lied to me, asked me a question, and then blocked me so I couldn't answer the question. I didn't feel like putting up with that kind of crap. I took a few seconds to log into the alternate account that I made in 2016 so I could deactivate my main account to focus more on schoolwork without making my pages disappear, and I went back to her page.

Please note that I never called her a scank [sic] or insulted her appearance. I usually try not to insult people's appearances as a matter of principle. For example, I recently resisted the urge to ask a MAGAt why he looked like Mr. Clean's ugly, overweight brother. Anyway, telling an attractive woman she's not attractive makes any man look really pathetic. But her gloating about how she loves responding to negative comments to encourage the algorithm was just too rich.

Yes, my other account still has the Salt Lake Mormon Temple as its profile picture, a fact that unexpectedly caused hundreds and hundreds of Mormons from around the world, especially in Latin America and the Philippines, to add me as a friend. I didn't bother explaining myself to her because I thought the juxtaposition of the temple and the words "chicken shit" was funny. Anyway, this little maneuver caused her to unblock my first account in about thirty seconds.

As you can see, she once again messaged me first, but this time with voice messages, almost as if she wanted to be able to take screenshots and lie about what she said. I can't prove what she said without going to greater lengths than would be worth my while, but hopefully you can at least take my word for it that she was not happy. Good lord 'n butter, no. She want on a vulgar tirade about how she didn't owe me anything just because I got my feefees hurt, and I violated her boundaries, and Trump has put her child's life in danger. (No shit, I told her last year that Trump's death would be a good thing because it would stop him from negatively impacting many people's lives. She thought all those lives were an acceptable price for his until her child's was one of them.)

At this point, I should have recognized that she was legitimately unwell and left her alone. I don't mean that as an insult, and yes, I know that I also have anger issues and am legitimately unwell, thanks. But her going ballistic put me on the defensive, so instead, I derived satisfaction from knowing that I'd gotten under her skin so much and she didn't have the awareness to even try to hide it.

She asked if I knew that she was a survivor of stalking and was triggered by me using another profile. No, I didn't. I had no intention of triggering her, nor do I believe she deserved to be triggered just for what she did. I regret that I didn't express my sympathy and try to lower the temperature of our exchange. The fact remains, however, that she messaged me first both times. Nobody made her do that.

She said I should just be grateful that she agreed with me now, implicitly acknowledging that she lied when she said she didn't say the other thing last year. I would have been grateful if she had owned up to it like an adult instead of, you know, what she actually did. She asked if I had ever considered how creepy it was for me to use my other profile after she blocked me. No, I hadn't. When I react to people treating me poorly for no reason, whether they find me creepy is not a concern that crosses my mind, ever. I'm still not sorry. Again, messaging me was a choice that she made. I do regret actually calling her an asshole. My assessment of her behavior hasn't changed, and being a survivor of stalking isn't a license to mistreat people, but I could have been a lot more tactful about it.

At this point, I really should have swallowed my pride and let her "win" because of her past trauma, but my perspective was, "No, you don't get to come in here yelling at me and insulting me and then tell me what to do. You don't get to message me and then claim you have a 'boundary' against me responding. If you want your boundaries to be respected, don't be an asshole." And now that I think of it, actually, no, she didn't have to unblock me. That was another choice that she made.

Yeah, I was petty. I refused to let her have the last word. I wasn't at all intimidated by her absurd threat to get an attorney when she could have ended this by literally just shutting the hell up. She messaged me first. After this, she did shut the hell up, at least long enough for me to do her a favor by blocking her. (Though you can't see it here, she also angry-reacted to me saying "Have a nice day." No awareness.) And while I'm not sorry for refusing to put up with her crap, I am sorry for not handling this conversation with more empathy. Getting back at her after all this time was a welcome opportunity, but triggering her was unintended overkill. I wish I'd said something more conciliatory before I blocked her. It's obviously too late now, and anything else I could say would be very much the opposite of helpful.