11/16/25 News Roundup

I don't expect anyone is using my blog as their primary source of political news, so I don't expect I need to go into a lot of detail about the things I want to get off my chest. First, the bad news. Democrats lost their balls and caved on the shutdown. I don't think it's the apocalyptic failure that some people are worried about, though. Maybe it will even be for the best in the long run. Republicunts were probably never going to negotiate on the healthcare subsidies, which would have expired in December anyway. Republicunts were willing to starve children to avoid negotiating on the healthcare subsidies. They. Are. Not. Good. People. And as the party controlling every branch of government and refusing to work with the opposition, they were responsible for the shutdown, and most Americans know it.

The worse news, for me, is that the funding bill to end the shutdown includes an entirely unrelated provision to close the loophole in the 2018 farm bill that allows me to legally purchase gummies with THC in them. I know my accounts of being high mean very little to the people who didn't experience them, but Kush Kubes have changed my life. I daresay they've permanently rewired my brain in good ways. I laugh a lot more often, I'm more introspective, and my depression is almost gone. After hearing this news, I thought I was depressed, but then I realized that I actually felt nothing, and I was just telling myself I was depressed because feeling nothing feels bad compared to feeling good, but as soon as I recognized and excised that thought pattern, I felt fine. This is the first time that the orange taint's presidency has had a substantial negative effect on me personally, but I didn't wait that long to start protesting because I care about people who aren't me. Anyway, there's still a year for the hemp industry to try to get this provision changed, and all drugs will be legal someday, and in the worst-case scenario, I'll just have to use real weed like most of my friends.

Good news: the Supreme Court paused its wholesale destruction of democracy and social progress to tell Kim Davis to fuck off. To me, nothing represents modern Christianity more than a woman who's been married four times trying to ban other people's marriages because they're against her beliefs. Because I don't believe in mocking people's physical appearances, I won't joke about how strange it is for such an ugly woman to be married four times. I was in college when the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. I should have been thrilled about it, like other people my age. Instead, I felt sick and depressed because Mormonism had taught me that same-sex marriage would destroy society, and now it had definitively lost that fight, and society would label me as a bigot. I tried to tiptoe around LGBTQ issues on my blog because my religion's positions on them were embarrassing and clashed with my own conscience, but I couldn't admit that to the world. I will never forgive Mormonism for doing that to me. Let me be unambiguous now, much too late: I support same-sex marriage, I support this decision, and any sorry excuse for a god who creates gay people and then tells them not to do what makes them happy can go to hell. Of course, there's nothing brave about making this statement now. Most Americans support same-sex marriage now because none of the bullshit we were warned would happen has happened.

More good news: the Democrats released some emails they subpoenaed from Epstein's estate, which make his former best friend and current US president look even worse than he already did. The orange taint is crapping his pants. More than usual, I mean. As much as I wish he would die already, it gives me satisfaction to know that every waking moment of his existence is miserable. And I'm optimistic that this issue will destroy his presidency, despite his inhuman immunity to consequences for his actions, simply because of how very hard he's trying to keep those files hidden. This is the guy who said, accurately, ""I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters," so whatever's in the files must be... wow. The fact that the world's most notorious sex trafficker called him "evil beyond belief" in one of these emails could be a bit of foreshadowing. And of course, because I'm not in a cult, I want every Democrat who's implicated in these crimes to go to prison for life too. Dear MAGA cultists, in the unlikely event that any of you are reading this: the best time to abandon your orange Messiah was ten years ago, but the second best time is now. You will always be remembered for your mindless, unwavering support of the worst person in the world - sorry, nothing can change that now - but you can at least redeem yourselves a tiny little bit by drawing the line somewhere.

Or you can keep saying the emails are fake, like the dipshits you are. Whatever.